I am an 18 year old male who lives in Ontario in a middle class family, and I just recently graduated high school. Once I hit grade 12 I realized that I do not actually have an interest in going to college or university (don't want to be in debt either) and pretty much gave up and graduated with shitty marks. I used to be depressed during grade 11-12 and smoked a lot of weed but realized none of that was going to help me. I went into an angry phase of being mad at my parents, teachers, and the "system". I'm basically bored of everything such as video games, parties, and hanging with friends. Now I mostly feel numb and completely confused with who I am and what I want to do. I'm not interested in the 9-5 working life but that is what it is going to be for now since I will be taking some time to save up money (have some saved up already from working during the weekends) and figure out what I REALLY want to do...BTW I pretty much have a nihilistic view of life at the moment.

I did one of the first things TRP suggests and obtained a gym membership and went consistently to the gym for a few months (still do) and acquired significant physical results. However I still have no clue what I want to invest my life pursuing. I tried to read philosophy which was interesting and gave me some different perspective.

I listened to a short motivational poem by Charles Bukowski called "Roll the Dice"

Basically the message of the poem is to put all your effort into chasing your ultimate desire even though you will have to make sacrifices. However the problem is is that I have no clue what I want to invest my time and energy into. There is many things I imagine I could be; a writer, artist, musician, DJ, some sort of computer programmer, self employed business man, and even a professional criminal. I also dream of becoming a multi millionaire or billionaire somehow (lol who doesn't). Honestly I feel like I'm living my life on auto-pilot and dwell on easy and quick pleasures just to pass the time...

TL;DR: Overall I need help or advice on a good way to figure out what I want or what I should do. I feel like I have so much potential that is going to waste because I don't know what I should apply myself to do. I want to feel ALIVE and I will gladly take risks.