This is inspired by the recent Orlando Bloom paparazzi pics. I would 100% agree about a double standard - The Fappening = rape vs. Orlando Bloom = OMG retweet. What I would definitely not agree with is that the answer is that men need to also get as hypercritical about these issues as internet feminists.

I would be a embarrassed if I was at a nude beach and someone took photos of me. I might also be annoyed (I also would feel worse about it if I were in my current overweight body as supposed to Hollywood-celebrity physical condition). But would it emotionally crush me? I don't think so. to put it in perspective, I used to try posting some thoughts on r/AskWomen a while ago, and the responses I got there about feelings I was being open about were far more hurtful and affecting than I think a nude pic of an in-shape me would be.

Another issue that I base on my own personal experience are things that take place in a social setting regarding sexual assault: Twice in my life I've had a gay man come on to me physically (and I use that as the equivalent of someone who you have zero interest in making moves on you). One guy was talking to me at a party in college, and decided to make a move putting his hand on my leg, and tracing circles with his finger along my thigh and my knee. I was a tad surprised, because I thought we were just having a regular dude conversation at a party. But was it a federal issue? For me, not remotely. I relayed the story to my friends later for a laugh. It was just a funny college party happening that was part of the experience to me.

And then I think about the perspective of, "That was sexual assault! He had no right to put his hands on you and violate you and you should report him!" and that just seems insane to me. I mean, if that's how hard something like that hits you, maybe it's you who has emotional issues that need to be dealt with if you want to interact with other humans in the real world. How...small of me to need to report something so insignificant. Dude was making a move, trying to get laid I suppose. In a way, good for him, it takes courage, especially as a guy/bi guy in that time. Can we also not think of how it would affect him if maybe the one time he sucked it up and made a move, some one called the authorities on him and treated him like a criminal for it?

And when we expand my experience to women in social situations where everyone is drinking...yeah. Women smack butts, get grabby, etc. It didn't happen to me constantly, but it did happen. And again, I don't quite understand why anyone would feel a need to make as big a deal out of it as some do. To me, it's just part of going out to a party and hiving a wild, unpredictable time; something to smile and chuckle about. I think it was a recent episode of John Oliver where he made a quip about an office party where you should, "Avoid Carla, she gets a bit grabby when she drinks," and it's a funny idea. And that's somehow a snapshot of the world I would like to live in: Where people can say, 'yeah, he/she gets a bit grabby when she drinks at the office party', and it's treated as funny, an eccentricity, or perhaps slightly annoying, but nothing everyone can't handle, because we're adults and we get it.

And ultimately, I think that's a piece of what the modern hyper-critical/safe-space crowd seems to miss, at least to my perspective: Not everyone wants a completely safe life. Not everyone needs that. In fact, some people suffer under it - the idea that Carla getting grabby at the party needs to be reported immediately to HR and treated as sexual assault and we all need to have counseling about it...ugh, what a miserable society that is to live in. I've often listened to my older brother and sister talk about crazy parties and shit they did when they were younger. For some, going out and going to a crazy dive bar where a fight will probably break out, and you might get a chair thrown near your head, sounds like a fun time. Heck, some people wouldn't mind being in the fight.

I think the greatest irony is when we expect soldiers; people we've put through the hell of basic training and taught to be killers, to abide by the same sensibilities during wartime as the rest of us in our comfy beds. I also think of pro-wrestlers, pro-athletes, etc. These are often more extreme people, who like to live more extreme lives. I'm somewhere in the middle, perhaps, but for me, I can say there is definitely a depression that goes along with living in a society where everything that might be perceived as violating extremely strict and somewhat artificial rules about social conduct is a no-no. I used to have a job where me a few other guys would always trade the most out-there jokes we knew with each other. That was great; and IMO that was people socializing naturally and normally. Nowadays I feel like many work places I dare not mention anything that might be perceived as tangential to anything race or sex related, or else I might get in trouble. That's miserable.

Wow, that turned out long. I'm not a regular poster here, but I was curious to hear opinions and responses.