I have a friend who is a former sex addict. He said he would often do short first dates, with nothing more than a hug hello, and a hug goodbye (or not even touching).

I recently started going on platonic first dates, and just striking up conversations with women, and smiling. The important thing here is no motive. I feel better, and maybe that's because I know I'm not juggling interactions between multiple women.

I figure the next date can be at my place, and maybe let's see what happens, instead of guiding it along a path.

I like having female friends, and I feel like I've ruined some potential friendships by getting intimate quickly.

Any thoughts or advice here?

[ edit: Thanks for the candor. I get what I need from other women. But, specifically, I met a woman who is not sexually attractive to me, but shares common interests. She's poly, so she has a guy, and I basically want to geek out with her. She seems cool with it. I met another poly girl who I like, and I honestly don't care if we hook up, because it would be cool to have her as a friend. There two other women I hook up with right now, and that's great! Maybe it's my age, 42. And hooking up is not as interesting as bonding at a deep level. Hookups seem to be the cherry on top, not the whole sundae. ]