A little back history. My cousin and his wife have been talking about divorcing for years, very likely since before their first anniversary. He finally couldn't do it anymore and a few months ago, he took the kids and left (she's a heavy drinker, adulterer, druggie, very controlling, etc.). He had filed for divorce weeks before they left, but she refused to sign any paperwork to expedite the process.

Divorce proceedings started in the county where he and the kids relocated to (and he had previously filed). After the hoops of the statements and declarations, a combination of periods of consecutive days during the week made the temporary custody 50/50 (they live hours apart, and the kids make the trip twice a week).

A guardian ad litem was appointed and did her "report" - which was laughably one-sided in his wife's favor. The guardian "decided" that the kids should remain 50/50 (with all the driving, etc.) for the next two years until the oldest reaches school age, and then the wife will have primary custody.

This, of course, leaves my cousin in quite a situation. He told the guardian that the oldest will probably need additional help beyond pre-school to be ready for kindergarten. Under the guardian plan, there will be no pre-school, much less consistent time for additional help.

So my cousin is between a rock and a hard place. Accept 50/50 and possibly stunt his oldest child's early education (as well as drive those hours and miles twice per week), or give the kids to the soon-to-be ex-wife now, as he will have to in two years anyway (in essence, "walk away").

I think it should be noted that when they were first discussing divorce, she admitted to him that she didn’t even want the kids full time. I believe she can’t handle the pressure of 12 consecutive days of taking care of the kids (she could barely do it while married and with help).

That being said, my cousin is willing to be labeled a “deadbeat dad” because he sees one of two outcomes if he “walks away”: first, she’ll change and become a great mother for her kids and raise them well or second, she’ll fold and after a while of my cousin taking his kids back at regular intervals, he can petition for a change in custody. It’s a very serious gamble.