I have a burning desire to eat much more food and become stronger and bigger in the gym. But I'm having a hard time suppressing the feeling of "I must be lean or girls wont like me" motto. I just want to do me and not compare myself but can't fucking decide.

190Lbs about 14% Body fat at 5 foot 8. I look like I lift and hold my weight well. But I often go to bed slightly hungry, wake up lean (which looks cool) and train with the same or lighter weights as time goes on. I find myself often contemplating going back to the life of eating like a machine and training like a machine. The film pumping iron comes to mind. Loved that film.

Just keep on thinking girls wont notice as much as the abs will slowly go away for a while, say 4-6 months while I'm gaining again. Then I think well fuck them hoes. If I want to do it I will.

5 beers down and thinking about life.