When you keep reminding yourself about all their good qualities…

circescircus · 2021-08-14T19:16:16+00:00

The only time I do that is with relatives or in-laws with difficult personalities. Even then, I reduce interactions and communication to the bare minimum, I grey rock them, and whenever I have to see them in person for whatever reason (holidays, etc) I try to tune them out as much as possible so I can't actually remember what they said or what body language they were showing. I try to remind myself of their "good qualities" so I don't blow a gasket and make a scene. These types of difficult people more often than not are trying to push your buttons, so you have to not give them any power over your emotions. I do think productive confrontation is a good thing generally, but not with very unhealthy people. You just have to stay away. And I don't see these people enough (maybe once a year or every few years for a few minutes/hours) for them to be of any consequence in my life.

But yeah, I would never maintain an intimate relationship (friend, family, partner) with any person who was so unpleasant that I have to constantly remind myself of their good qualities.

MissouriBlue · 2021-08-14T18:34:00+00:00

Interestingly, a Narcissist has to alternate both the Love Bombing and the Devaluation — nobody would stay and endure the abuse if you’re an asshole all the time. It has to be evened out with the Breadcrumbs of affection to keep you hooked.

Something to read up on.

Title	When you keep reminding yourself about all their good qualities…
Author	KaliMaAndMe
Upvotes	233
Comments	4
Date	August 14, 2021 4:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p4bngv/when_you_keep_reminding_yourself_about_all_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-you-keep-reminding-yourself-about-all-their.958406 https://theredarchive.com/post/958406

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