Not comfortable or willing to reduce partners to terms for now. Also realizing I'm not in a position to hesitate or that's gonna hurt feelings more. Walking the line! Ha.

Partner 1 ... no kids, wants to get married and have kids hardcore

Partner 2 ... into kinky stuff, has kids, able to have structured fun

How do you do it? How has it backfired on you? I'm more concerned about the partner who wants kids and to get married. She's simply in a vulnerable place in her life right now. I told her I'm kind of trying it on because I'm open to the same thing but I don't really want involvement in saving her, emotionally filling her needs, or any of that. I'm not worried that I'll fall into any of that, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I haven't told her the boundaries on feelings but probably should. We simply/frankly are at two different levels of physical attractiveness to the point that it will cause conflict long-term and I don't know what she's thinking.

This is the result of improving my SMV likely haha. My process with dating went something like this:

  • moved to an area with new job, spent a year with bullshit flings and stuff I thought had potential at the time and in retrospect had none at all
  • dealt with job loss, more transition, two bullshit "relationships"
  • got serious about dating, and then...
  • found myself stuck in the BP mode
  • started switching up my thinking on dating to RP and improving SMV
  • suddenly am just doing it

So if you're getting into it (and for shit's sake are older than 21), it does seem to work... I'm here just trying to keep it from working too well :)