Alright, I'll try to be as brief as I possibly can.
22,kissless virgin, got a crush at 16, it didn't workout because I was a scrawny gamer. I am now on my last year of software engineering faculty, and it ain't going the way I want it to because of my lack of self control.
Woke up for months thinking about her, went to sleep thinking about her. And in between I kept thinking that I am not good enough.
Started working out, and things got better. I felt good about myself. But that's when I discovered online sex chatting ( online sex chat sites -> skype,snap,kik and the rest of the bullshit ). It was easier for me because I was somewhat built and I would get "lucky" with a real women after an hour or so. The down side is that sometimes i'd spend a lot more time searching for someone, because you have to ignore all the pedos, gay guys, fake women, bots, and get to the 5% of real women and get "lucky".
It was also easier because there was no rejection there. I know that is what I was running away from, and still am. Rejection. Pain in general.
Fast forward 6 years, I am still doing it. I am trying to stop for over 6 months and am still failing. I don't know how to stop. The amount of times I've said "This is the last time" is huge.
I have not ruined my life with this activity YET, but man I know it will bite me in the ass if I continue doing this shit. The amount of times I've cried is almost uncountable. The amount of time spent doing this is fucking huge, in 4 months it was ~200hours, which is fucking a lot.
I want to punch myself in the face whenever I spend another hour there, but I still come back to it almost every day.
This may not be the right subreddit for these kind of questions, but I was hoping I'd get some realistic advice or at least something i don't even know man.
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