So I have a very bad habit of being overly jealous and controlling. I know this is an evil spiral, because the more I try to be controlling, the more LTR has a chance of jumping on Chad's dick.

But the more she pulls away, the more I become suspicious. What is killing me, is knowing that everytime I think she does something she is not supposed to do, the more she is likely to some day do it (and I won't ever find out.)

I guess it's really about her being able to decieve me and break my trust, more than it is me losing her. I realize to get rid of my jealousy, I need to come to peace with the fact that if she does it, she does it and it is out of my hands.

The only way to do this, is getting more abundance mentality.

Any tips and tricks on how to build abundance mentality for a semi one-itis 1.5 year LTR? I want to distance myself, but it's hard when you don't have trust. Or are overly jealous.