I recently found this subreddit, so I have not had time to look through it all, but have recently found myself in a situation.

I've been considering doing some things to raise my standing in the community to enhance the stability I would bring to the child.

Actions / Items (that I've considered)

  • Becoming more involved through volunteer activities
  • Attending a local church to become known in the community
  • Starting attending AA meetings (to thwart possible attempts to use this against me; her mother considers me a "functional alcoholic" - which just isn't true)
  • Pay for weekly or monthly drug testing; work will only do random once a year
  • I also back up my text messages and started recording my calls.

Background Information:

I recently split from my son's mother on probably less than amicable terms because she wanted to work things out and go to counseling. She ran to her mother who came over and gave me 30 mins to grab clothes and get out of the house before she called the police for trespassing. Mother's name is on the housing paperwork.

This whole process has just started and I'm not certain what aspects will come into play nor if we can agree through mediation because the biggest sticking point is who he lives with.

Her:

  • full-time nursing student (grads Dec)
  • does not work
  • her mother gives her "allowance money" to pay all bills
  • previously did drugs such as cocaine, meth and speed
  • visited a rehab facility
  • has a felony on her background (related to the drugs; don't know specifics)

Me:

  • have been at the same company the past 5 years
  • home life might appear nomadic due to some of the moves I've had to make. Especially leaving my place, moving into hers, moving back out and then in again. (Basically I've probably never really been in a place longer than a year)
  • do have a DUI from 2009 on my background

Plan:

  • currently in an extended stay hotel; plan to find an apartment ASAP (would rather have a house, but that takes more time)
  • I plan to start interviewing nannies/sitters should I need one while I am at work
  • do more research online and start documenting details and cases

Any ideas or suggestions?