So I'm 21 and in college. I was super motivated and driven when I came into college and I regret not fueling that energy into my job/work/interests back then. Rather, I went on a love high with a HB7(with makeup). She was super sweet and cute and I really liked the girl. I regret not talking her into fucking early on in the relationship even though I always wanted to. We had sex around the one year mark, but by then I had jerked off so many fucking times that my frame was completely gone and the sex was terrible. I stopped putting energy into my work and school and was pretty mad at her just for not enjoying or even treating me enough. We ended up breaking up and she goes on to some other dude after crying. After she goes on the CC in a foreign country and when she comes back she is completely destroyed on the inside. She's now dating the other guy after we broke up and is her perfect whore. I'm sure they have great sex and she is super bad with him. I regret so many things. I regret so. Many. Things. Now, I'm about to go to some half decent internship, get paid like shit compared to all my friends, finish college with shit grades and absolutely no sexual experience. Am I lifting? Yea. Did I stop jerking off? Yea. Do I watch porn? Fuck no. Am I improving? Sure. But My interest in my school studies and hobbies are completely gone. All this while my ex is having a blast. I will never forgive myself. Before everything, people used to come up to me and say "dude...how do you do it?" And I used to be fucking clueless like "uhh what are u talking about??" They were just talking about how fucking awesome I was. That shit ended. Now I'm a huge loser. Girls who used to say that I was a total package and "checked all the boxes" now say I'm an L. My life took a turn for the worst. Where I could've been from where I am...the gap is HUGE. I missed out on a bad bitch who I would've been really happy with. How do I forgive myself? I missed my life calling. Everything I've worked and achieved socially and academically is gone. I will never be the same. And to top it all off with a fucking cherry.. my ex lives like I never existed.