Ex-girlfriend is pregnant. I'm very likely the father. Advice needed.

babydaddythrowaway2 · 2014-08-20T02:57:31+00:00

She's had a series of issues that made conflict resolution and my safety a concern.

Crazy ex girlfriend? Don't forget the paternity test.

Exactly_what_I_think · 2014-08-20T03:45:47+00:00

Get your passport now!

Have you tried a hail marry?

DNA test ~~when~~ if the thing pops out.

I would assume she is lying to sleep with you so she can get prego.

throwaway7145 · 2014-08-20T11:54:57+00:00

Six comments and not a single one encouraging OP in his stated intention to support his child and be the best father that he can. One comment suggesting he trick her into getting an abortion. Two comments suggesting he leave the country. Three comments suggesting that she is either lying about being pregnant or about OP being the father.

I'm going to leave this thread now and go read all the other threads complaining about men being treated unfairly in child custody cases. How dare those judges think men don't give a shit about children? Where on earth would they get that idea from?

/sarcasm

OP, be the best father (if it comes to that) and the best person that you can be.

MRSPArchiver · 2014-08-20T02:50:30+00:00

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2014-08-20T04:00:52+00:00

Knowing what I know now and after my experiences with the family court and irrational and insane ex's over child support, custody and visitation, I would liquidate everything and move to a nation that has no treaty ties with the USA after obtaining paternity test proving the child is mine.

Tell her you want a Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity test before you even give her the time of day, let alone any of you assistance or money - http://americanpregnancy.org/prenataltesting/paternitytesting.html

If she balks, then the child probably is not yours.

xNOM · 2014-08-21T05:40:30+00:00

She's had a series of issues that made conflict resolution and my safety a concern.

Are you sure you want to have a child with this woman? I know this puts you in a very difficult situation. If not, and you have concerns about going forward with this with her, do you think it's possible to talk this over with her? An abortion seems like a reasonable consideration. Maybe if you paid her to do it... if it were me and if it came down to it, I wouldn't bat an eye at paying a considerable sum of money to the woman, if I really wasn't wanting to have a child with her.

Of course, in case she does decide to go through with the pregnancy, you will want to be involved as possible.

In any case, don't sign anything without a paternity test.

A lot of hospitals and other places will try to get fathers to sign an "acknowledgement of paternity" form without legal consultation. Guys often either do not know, or find it unbelievable that they could be on the hook for child support for 18 years or more even if they aren't the kids dad, just because they've put their signature on a ridiculous piece of paper.

But, in fact, that's exactly the case. In some cases from the moment you sign, in other cases just a couple days or weeks afterwards, it is etched in stone, REGARDLESS of whether the kid is yours. It's even the case that guys who are roped into these schemes can be forced to pay support for a kid who is actually living and supported by both of his biological parents. Read about the topic of "paternity fraud" and you can get more information.

In some cases, women or support agencies will employ methods such as "serving" paperwork establishing paternity to an address where the guy no longer lives, and he can be put on the hook forever that way. Basically, the state often doesn't give a shit, just so long as they can rope someone in to pay money.

I would let the future mom know at this point that a paternity test will be done. It will give her ample notice so that she knows what to expect and can decide accordingly. There are some companies these days that advertise non-invasive prenatal paternity testing, but I don't know much about it or how good or how expensive it is.

https://www.google.com/search?q=paternity+test+prenatal

I would probably provide her with a DNA swab from my cheek, and direct her to one of those sites, letting her know that it's there for her in case there is any uncertainty that she doesn't know of.

If she pretty much knows the answer already, then a test done at birth will probably do the trick, and will no doubt be less expensive.

Once you get the paternity test results, there are a whole lot of issue that you are going to have to deal with.

You should talk to a lawyer. Inquire about what kinds of arrangements can be made in cases where partners are amicable that may secure your parental rights and rights to parent your child. IMHO, it is much better to have these things hammered out and negotiated when you are on good terms, than facing the possibility of having to negotiate these issues later, in case, god forbid, you are no longer on good terms.

That would be my advice. But certainly, get advice elsewhere too.

babydaddythrowaway2 · 2014-08-20T05:53:10+00:00

The Hail Mary -

-Tell her you love her, you want to get married, you want to settle down in the near future. (You are lying through your teeth of course) -Explain to her that having a child right now, will cost a lot of money which could otherwise be spent on getting married or on affording buying a brand new home and that you could always have a child later on. -If she agrees. Be with her at every step to ensure that she has the abortion. Help her book an appointment etc... -Take her to an abortion clinic and get it done. Afterwards, take her to mcdonalds for an egg mcmuffin (meaning that she had to have had the abortion before 10am). -Then dump the bitch.

legofan001 · 2014-08-21T20:38:19+00:00

You could use plan b.

Title	Ex-girlfriend is pregnant. I'm very likely the father. Advice needed.
Author	babydaddythrowaway2
Upvotes	3
Comments	23
Date	August 20, 2014 2:50 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2e1opz/exgirlfriend_is_pregnant_im_very_likely_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/ex-girlfriend-is-pregnant-im-very-likely-the.996719 https://theredarchive.com/post/996719

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