Crosspost "AITA for telling me friend that she is an asshole" from /r/AmItheAsshole:

My (F32) best childhood friend (F32) just became a lawyer and then dumped her boyfriend.

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My best friend and I grew up in poverty. We had not much opportunities for an education. For young women in our area, our options were retail, drug dealing, prostitution, or hoping a rich guy would notice us. For guys it was retail, drug dealing, or finding one of the few factory jobs remaining.

I got lucky, managed to date a med student, he helped open doors for me and I have become a teacher in a school in a lower socioeconomic area to provide those oppurutnities. My husband is now a doctor

My friend tried that option but was not as lucky. She was working min wage retail at age 25. While doing so she got friendly with a factory worker (M30) who came by regularly and they started dating. He knew he was not the academic type, school was not for him. But he also saw potential in my friend and encouraged her to go school. She had dreams of becoming a criminal prosecutor and he encouraged her to not give up. He took out whatever loan he could find so that she could get an education. He supported her through and through, did the house work, worked extra shifts, everything so she could get an education.

My friend persevered, graduated, and became a lawyer. Shortly after, she broke up with her Boyfriend; just as he planned on proposing to her. She said that as a professional, she had no interest being married to a working class Man and that she "deserves" a "real man". I was horrified and told her that she is betraying a Man who has supported her through all this and made her what she is. She got mad and said that it is not the Woman's job to pay the bills and that I am a hypocrite cause my husband makes a lot more than me. She further said that the idea of marriage as a life partnership is a patriarchal construct, that she has the right to date whomever she wants, and that as a feminist I should be supporting her. I told her that she is not only a major asshole, she is giving feminists a bad name because feminism means women financially supporting their male partners as much as in the reverse.

Edit: I am no longer friends with her

Edit 2: Yes, he is on the hook for the loans; she has no intent of paying them back

Edit 3: My ex-besties ex-boyfriend has seen this and is thankful for all the support he has gotten. He is still deeply hurt but my husband and I are right now focused on him

Posted by RichSlummer | 11 January 2022 | Link