Men of Reddit I need your help!

My wife and I have been together for close to 14 years and married for 6 years. We have two boys, 6 and 3 years. Currently we are going through a very difficult phase.

Our main problem is, we cannot agree where to continue our lives. We are currently living in a very beautiful spot near the mountains since we both are very outdoor and nature affine persons. I am foremost a very avid mountaineer and climber. We have a beautiful and free standing with a large garden, something which is nearly impossible to get here for a reasonable price. We both have very good and secure jobs and the support of my parents who live like an hour away and help us out a lot. I really love the job I have here in which I have a lot of friends, great colleagues, good pay and a very good long time perspective (something I worked on for close to 8 years). Our kids are in day care here and really like to go there, have friends, hobbies and a very good environment to grow up.

We had some very good years up to the birth of our 2nd child, when thinks got out of hand. There is just so much shit to do and things to handle and not enough space and time for us to recharge and recreate or find time for us as a couple. Consequently the quality of our relationship and also our family life really suffered, since everyone is so triggered, on the edge and pissed all the time.

My wife was always very bound to her family and even in our best times at our current living location she stated the wished to live closer to her home. Now before we got kids we losely agreed to staying here, since I really love the mountains and outdoor sports and also had the ambition to becoming a mountain guide (which I abandoned with having kids since it is just not a realistic goal anymore anyway). Now this wish has intensified since she is feeling increasingly burned out and very much wishes for the support of her own family. This is 600 km away from where we are now and in a (objectively) much much less attractive place where I never would chose to spend my life.

Now bottom line she really wants to move there since she also has a job offering there and I don‘t think anything I can offer her here will change her mind. Mind you I am a very supportive husband and supporting her in every free minute I am at home, having cut down all my hobbies and interests by like 95 %. I also work a really family friendly job (as far as that is possible being a MD), most days I am home at 4:30 pm and don‘t have much calls during the month. Despite all I offered to her to make things easier for her (like visiting her family more on weekends and on vacation, finding someone to help us around the garden, work less hours) all is boiling down to us moving to her home town or separating.

Well, I really have a lot of problems leaving everything we build for ourselves here, which are very stable living conditions for something completely unknown without the hard need to do so and well I really genuinely do not want to live there. I understand her wish for more support from her home family but the price seems like very high. I love where we are living now, this place is so dear to my heart and all the opportunities for sports/mountaineering etc. are my ressorce number one to cope with everything.

Thing is I still love my wife and don‘t want to make her unhappy by trying to make her stay but I don‘t know if I will be able to go this step and leaving everything behind which I value so much without being bitter and depressed about it. On the other hand I also love my children very much and it would certainly break my heart more than a bit to be separated so much and therefore 90 % out of their lives. My older one especially is like a carbon copy of myself and my mini me and needs me a lot.

This is the hardest decision of my life and nobody can take it for me, I know that. I am just very curious to know who was in a similiar situation and what came out of it. Any advice and thought would be so much appreciated!