Day 2

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2023-06-14T13:00:00+00:00

Never tell HR shit.

It could be used against you very easily.

Similar to talking to the cops.

Shougekinojp · 2023-06-14T09:31:44+00:00

Im going something similar but Im about two months in. Havent filed yet because ive been waiting on certain events to happen first and if she still feels like she doesn’t love me anymore after that, then ill file.

But I cried a bunch the first month at work. I tried not to look disheartened, disheveled, and just all around sad but it’s incredibly hard. I dont like people knowing my business because I dont want the im sorrys and the fuck hers because I know if they knew the whole story, maybe people wouldn’t think im a great u guy. But what got me through the days was telling my department, all guys, two divorced n remarried, one marriee, one engaged. All great guys that listened to what is happening and has helped me thru it. None of them those douche alphas that say fuck her lets find some chicks n pussy! I have to admit id hate to hear that bc its not helpful at all to me.

Also, i spoke to HR. Our HR manager is an incredibly sweet lady that listened to me an offers advice here n there. Reason I told her is because if she hears im moping around or not looking the best, there is a reason for if.

All these incredible people i work with have helped me get to a place of near acceptance. I still have days where i cry at my desk (use to excuse myself to go to the bathroom n cry there) and i know its ok for me to do so because i opened up to my work people n they r there me.

I hope you have similar great people at your job who you feel you could open up to. It sucks many people work at a job or place they hate. Especially since we spend so much of our adults lives at that place that youd hope those people are friends for life people. Sorry youre going through this and time doesnt heal, but helps you get stronger

potatotornado44 · 2023-06-15T17:33:17+00:00

The first few weeks are the hardest. Take a deep breath. This isn’t going to happen overnight, you’ll have plenty of time to set yourself up for the future.
Hopefully you are candidates for meditation. It’s less expensive than going the attorney route, though you should at least consult with an attorney asap. I’m about 2 weeks from final papers being signed.

I’ve heard that the last part of the divorce can be very difficult as well, but that hasn’t been my experience.

I’m ready to have my life back, I’m ready to have my own money, I’m ready to make my own decisions, and most of all I’m ready to finally be done with the evil, selfish creature who destroyed our family and tossed me aside without ever giving me a chance to fix things.

Good riddance.

Keep your head up brother. You can tell anyone you wish. Don’t fall for the whole “please don’t tell anyone yet“ that my ex gave me. By the time I was authorized to tell anybody, her whole family and friends group knew.

Lean on your friends and most importantly talk to a professional therapist. It really does help and there’s no shame in that. . Don’t beg and plead for her to stay, don’t engage with her anymore than you absolutely have to.

She’s not the person you’re married, she’s no longer your confidant or even your friend. As hard as it has to do, you have to change the way you view her, and you have to let go of the person she was in the past. It’s the only way forward.

Best of luck to you, please keep us updated. We are all brothers here going through the same thing.

We are always here for each other.

Title	Day 2
Author	participatin
Upvotes	5
Comments	3
Date	June 14, 2023 6:18 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1490afc/day_2/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/day-2.1222389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222389

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