I can't post the links on here. But I've gone through so much pain and struggle in this divorce with blocked communication; (soon-to-be-ex) blocked my phone number then changed the kids phone numbers. It's been one of the hardest things I've had to battle so far in this life. An entire life is just taken away from me. Note that I was married for almost 15 years. Asked for divorce, she told me to leave the house and "think about what I said." Left the house, was texted and told the door codes were changed and my shit was in garbage bags outside and that she wouldn't let me pick it up. I had no car, either. I took an uber, which wouldn't take me far. Ended up taking a very long trip to my brother's house where I stayed for awhile to get back on my feet (wanting to die every day of my life). Filed the divorce, and the day after I filed, she filed a restraining order against me. Finally got dismissed and then when I tried to contact the kids, the phone didn't work. Found in phone data that the numbers were changed. STILL going to case managements and no trial yet. Hopefully that's next. Had an emergency hearing for time share and my attorney 'got sick' and so we couldn't do it. He said, now, it's best to wait to expose all this during trial (I have screenshots and stuff).

Anyway. I wrote a song about this. I can't share a link. But here it is on youtube. Maybe it brings some comfort to someone out there in this storm. We're going to get through this, guys. Just keep holding strong. And as my brother told me, just put one foot in front of the other.

Video/Audio link here

Lyrics:

This song has been made after going through a brutal divorce where one of our mates had constant child custody battles, parental alienation, and custody interference. For all the divorced dads and moms out there struggling to reach their kids, we see you, we hear you. Keep going. Keep fighting.

Verse 1 The line goes dead every time I try Your laughter’s trapped on the other side They flipped the switch, they sealed the gate Left me screaming into empty space

The quiet’s worse than any fight It’s carving holes straight through the night

Chorus I can’t hear you anymore, the silence cuts like knives They stole your voices, stole your light I’m raging through the dark, I’m clawing for a sign This wall they built won’t hold me for life I can’t hear you anymore, but I still feel the ache I’ll burn this barrier down for your sake I’ll break through, I’ll break through

Verse 2 Every photo’s frozen, every memory fades The world keeps moving while I’m stuck in the shade They built this distance, they drew the line But your names still echo in every line

The distance grows, but my will won’t crack I’ll keep pushing til I get you back

Chorus I can’t hear you anymore, the silence cuts like knives They stole your voices, stole your light I’m raging through the dark, I’m clawing for a sign This wall they built won’t hold me for life I can’t hear you anymore, but I still feel the ache I’ll burn this barrier down for your sake I’ll break through, I’ll break through

Bridge I’m raging at the hands that locked you away The lies they whisper, the games they play Every day without you is a war I fight But I’ll keep screaming til I see the light No more waiting in this frozen hell I’ll tear down the walls til I hear your yell

Chorus (Final) I can’t hear you anymore, but I’m still alive The silence is brutal, but I'll survive They blocked every path, they cut every tie But I’m still breathing, and I won’t die I can’t hear you anymore, but I feel your fire I’ll fight through the darkness, I’ll take it higher (I’ll break through, I’ll break through)

At some point I want to write a book on everything I've been through (narcism, control, psychological manipulation, etc.). One day...