After 2 years of the marriage ending, that would be separation two times and the subsequent divorce. The one aspect that I seem to have missed or skipped over. That will be for both divorces was the grief Factor. Once that equation was confronted emotionally and psychologically I have found that I have more clarity than I ever have in many many years. For those of you going through the divorce process or separation, don't forget to feel the grief. It's the one aspect that's very difficult to adjust to because so many feelings post through your mind and body at the same time. It doesn't happen all at once either it comes and goes as if it's a tide. It's taking me about three and a half weeks or more after the counseling session confronted me with the word: "grief".

Once I saw the word physically and emotionally it seemed to turn on the tap to the extent that many thoughts and motions flow through. Not just the divorces which was obvious, but the relationships I had afterward which I now see were part of that process that I ignored.

Now, confronting all of that grief with regard to all of the relationships not just the divorces, you get a different viewpoint. Kind of a very steep learning curve. But you do surface, and you swim to shore with a better frame of mind.