First, let me state…I am NOT asking for legal advice, just some input on real life experience and/or different perspectives.

General specifics: “Perfect marriage” for a while, then experienced the normal issues. Wife went on a lengthy trip and developed a relationship with someone else. Essentially when “confronted” started in on the triggering behaviors to elicit responses from me. When I tried to talk through things, I was met with the silent treatment. She would also just disappear for hours (like 10+) on end, without offering any explanation.

When shit finally hit the fan, which was basically me saying we were getting a divorce and calmly walking away, she ran and started playing the victim. Suddenly I was “abusing” her and she went and filed for a PO. It was granted for one of the most ridiculous reasons everyone I know of has ever heard. She continues labeling me as an “abuser” to anyone she talks to and is claiming I refuse to cooperate. Now, it seems she is requesting a renewal for the PO because she’s “afraid”.

I’m at a loss. We have kids together and suddenly I was always a shitty parent, blah, blah, blah. We’ve played the defensive/reactive position so far and I don’t feel it has worked well in my favor. Anyone else been in a situation like this? Is that the right tactic? Should I consider something more offensive like? I know the term gets thrown around a lot now, but there is no question in my mind she is a narcissist. How do I get the courts to see that without continuing to seem like an aggressor?