Here it comes

DriftingDecider · 2020-11-21T16:50:59+00:00

Several issues here.

One: She is able, by your telling, to behave more or less normally, whenever there is no activity in the divorce litigation (litigation that she commenced), but behaves in a substantially different, more negative/hostile/abusive way, when you act in that litigation. This is called "manipulation". She is punishing you for presenting your case to the court because she does not want you to present your case to the court, because if you don't present your case to the court she will have her case accepted without being challenged (that's her belief; courts generally don't work exactly like that).

Two: Her bad behavior takes the form of hurting you through your children: ceasing communication, not providing parental care as previously agreed.

Consider just those two points, and you will see what should be done. You cannot effectively coparent with a crazy person. You can't reason with them because they are not reasonable.

So: Get video of her antics, especially if they happen in front of the children, and ask your lawyer to use it in support of your motion to modify the current custody arrangement to enable you to block her when she is behaving badly.

I don't know why you believe the verbal abuse won't get you a protective order, but at a minimum the judge can require that she not behave that way where the children can see or hear it.

2020-11-21T19:07:47+00:00

Bullshit. If she comes to your house unannounced call the cops. File a restraining order. Quit assuming the courts are out to get you. You’ve had full custody for two years. If your kid is self harming or threatening sucide, call the police. You can have the child committed for 21 days and get the child the help he/she needs.

Obviously what you’ve been doing has not worked. Get a better lawyer if you really have been told that because your wife is petite she can’t be held accountable for harassment, threats.

If your child can’t be left alone without harming himself or others, apply for state help.

Your not a victim unless you agree to be.

playerknowmore · 2020-11-21T16:43:41+00:00

Honestly child support may make her feel she has more of a say. Personally I'm not sure if it is worth it. I don't mean don't take it at all, but use it as a bargaining chip. I would sit her down and tell her you will give it back to her if she does her part with helping with your oldest.

I know it is like you are paying her to do what she is supposed to do, but if it makes it possible for you to go to work, and focus on working; it maybe wort it.

opiewaan · 2020-11-21T17:54:00+00:00

I don't know what state you are in but I know for sure that your son will behave more erratically as this instability increases. I would highly recommend that you reach out to your local Mental Health organizations and ask, nay, beg for help managing your son. You need to work, he needs stability. If they have a counselor/home caregiver who can help and maybe even provide therapy then that's a win-win. In that situation the possibility exists for you to get a no trespass order. You live in the house? If you own it independently of her you can post a no trespass order and mail her one via certified mail. Tiny or not she is abusing you. I would absolutely urge you to go into the court and request a restraint order. In your affidavit let them know about her erratic behavior, potential for violence and distress it causes your children. You may want your lawyers help, maybe not but at least attempt it. Whether you do that or not it is a pretty good shot she's going to get one against you. It is a mighty weapon in a women's arsenal. If possible install cameras all over the house. I have the brand Wyze. They run about $25 apiece. I put 7 in. It runs on an app. Put sd cards in and record whenever she shows up. Keep your cool and gather evidence. You are in a tough spot. Be a good example for your kids but protect yourself and them. Good luck.

Title	Here it comes
Author	JoBeam439
Upvotes	4
Comments	4
Date	November 21, 2020 3:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/jycs7o/here_it_comes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/here-it-comes.817738 https://theredarchive.com/post/817738

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