I've been married for 20+ years, started considering divorce around 4 years ago. Have 2 children, 17 and 14, have been waiting for a good time to do this. I know there is no 'good time', but at my age (54) I look down the road and see the end coming at me. I want the chance to be happy with someone, to be loved and give in return.

So how do I start this?  I know I need to find a good attorney, but how does one go about finding that out?  I'm aware of a few in town, one that seems to represent the high dollar divorces, and another that has a reputation as being a 'shark'. I read somewhere that if you consult with an attorney but don't end up using them they can't represent the other side because of conflict of interest rules. Sounds fishy, but could be plausible. I own a business and make close-to-mid six-figures, so it's not going to be an easy divorce.  I can't ask my friends, or other acquaintances, for a referral because I fear I will tip my hat.  I'm also afraid I will be seen going into or out of a lawyer's office.  I live in a moderate size city in CA (pop 200,000), but know a lot of people in the downtown area where most of the law offices are.  Is it better to use a local attorney?  I really want to be discreet until I'm ready to have that discussion with my wife.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.