I am going to speak honestly about my part in my marriage coming to an end. Long story short….

I am a 54 yo male, my wife filed for divorce for the first time in 2014. We married in 1992. Met in college.

Our marriage wasn’t always good. Good times and bad times. I’d like to say there wasn’t any infidelity but I had two one time flings she never found out about.

Two great kids.

I had always been what I called “Joe Six-pack” type. Meaning I enjoyed my beer. Sometimes too much.

Well about 2013 my drinking became a serious problem. By 2014 she filed for divorce. Everyone I knew including family knew she was trying to scare me.

She kept doing a “continuance”. Meaning the divorce never went any further. We still lived together.

I tried to get help. Went to treatment. Sobered up for 7 months. She finally dropped the 2014 divorce in December 2015.

I started drinking again and it was not good. She filed again in May of 2016. It was over. No saving it this time.

We live in a no fault divorce state. By the time the divorce went final in March 2017 I got $250K from her 401k. Honestly my plan was to drink it all up. Not because of her. But because I am an alcoholic. That’s what we do.

Terrible drinking repercussions happened from that point on …May 2017-October 2017. Hospitalizations, treatments, relapse, destitution. That money has to go through a QUADRO thing so it took until April 2018 to become mine.

Well October 9 2017 I took my last drink. I really dove into AA. Made friends in that group of people. In January 2018 I got my foot in the door on a state job. All those great benefits and decent pay. Insurance, vacation, sick days, paid holidays, overtime, and a defined retirement plan.

In March 2020 I ended up getting a promotion to a better position. Even better pay. I remain in that position to this day.

I probably down play how bad the alcoholism was as well as how really nasty the ex wife became… she was naturally very angry that I didn’t quit drinking and generally was a miserable person before the divorce. And also angry that I took “her money”! LOL

Well brothers. I post this because I really have done the next right thing after my divorce. That money? I did cash out $70K. I bought a used Toyota Camry and an old Chevy Silverado. A new camera canon 80D an iMac and other little things.

I put the rest of that money into a rollover IRA. My financial guy and I decided to be aggressive with it.

I know it’s his job to blow sunshine up my rear. Haha. But in a recent meeting we had he said in 10 yrs it’s not hard to believe that the account could reach $1million. Plus the pension and social security I like to believe I’ll be ok.

Maybe I should have posted this in a AA Reddit!? I have two grandsons now that never have to see me drink. My relationship with my son and daughter was strained to say the least. They saw me just absolutely drunk and disgusting. I’m 6 yrs sober and those relationships continue to heal.

I’m not going to lie I would love to run this in my ex wife’s face! But I choose not to.

Also I should mention that I have become a traveler. I developed a passion to see national parks. I been to several in the past 5 yrs of travel. I’ve been to World Series games, college World Series, college football games in big conferences and big games. MLB games from LA to Denver to KC to Minneapolis to Dallas to Baltimore to Chicago.

SoCal is my fav place to visit. Been to Arizona for the first time. Seen several big conference NCAA bball games from the Midwest to Arizona. Been to ncaa March madness 3 times. And two sweet 16 rounds. Seen pga event in Atlanta. Hello Paulina Gretzky!! Lol

I say all that to yes brag! But also if I was married none of that would have been allowed!

The title? She used to say that when I would try to lie to her and say that I’d change and ask her to drop the divorce. I hated that! But she was right!

IT’S FOR THE BEST!