What a time in my life. Bear with me gentlemen. I tend to make a long story LONG.

My ex wife and I met as 20yos in October 1988. She had a boyfriend she was still seeing from her high school days. We became a couple in January 1989. She was from a small town about 35 miles from the city I lived. That city was also where the college was located.

Summer of 89’ was spent with her. She found a college friend who needed a roommate and we spent that summer together just enjoying each other. She fell in love quickly. It took me longer to say it. Haha

Fast forward to spring 1990. Her professor told her about an opportunity for research experience for undergraduates. Computer science. It was a paid deal. And it paid well. So she applied for and got a spot. Couldn’t pass that up. Easy money instead of a summer job.

Sadly that college was 6 hrs drive away. And I didn’t like her being gone most of the summer. Well she didn’t like it either. And she came back after two weeks to visit me. Then we met halfway over July 4th weekend. Again she came back 2 weeks later and finally early August she was done with that and came back.

That whole summer I remember her writing me letters. There was no internet. No text messages. Haha

She must have written me everyday. And I wrote her.

About two weeks ago my ex wife and I met at my son’s house. I was there for a visit. I live 3 hrs decor away from them now.

She told me she had a box filled with stuff that I had left behind after our divorce.

I found 40-50 love letters from the summer of 1990. I ended up reading them all. Now. I do remember her writing to me but I don’t remember explicitly saving them! Obviously they meant a lot to me that I went ahead and stashed them away. Frankly they were forgotten about until I was going through that big box of stuff.

I need your help gentlemen! These letters stirred up old wonderful memories and strong emotions! Her letters from that summer were filled with expressions of love and longing and yes lust. We were 21yo and deeply in love. Frankly she was an amazing lover.

Her letters spoke of lost time being made up in each other’s arms. Naked. Haha. Of a future together. Of a hopeful marriage. She wrote of never wanting to leave my side again. She wrote about how wonderful I was and how happy she was. Of how we were made for each other. And I felt the same. Oh man heady times.

We married in 1992.

Well as you know life, kids, circumstances happen. I had a love affair with the adult beverage beer. By 2014 she filed for divorce. I was able to pull it together and in December 2015 she dropped that divorce. I again fell off the wagon and that was it. Divorce refiled. Ended February 2017. I got sober in October 2017 and am now almost 8.5 yrs sober!

These letters opened old wounds. I feel like I want some more closure. But how much more do I need! Haha. We are friendly in each others presence around our adult children and grandchildren. But rarely contact each other outside of that.

Why are these emotions and feeling being stirred up so strongly!? At 57 I feel like I want to take a chance and rekindle that relationship. I

Probably won’t get that answer that I’m looking for from her….. if I brought it up.

It was be cool maybe hear from someone who tried to rekindle the old flame and failed and maybe someone can speak about how and why it worked. Thanks for this space to share our stories.