Well, I never hoped I would have to be in a group like this, but glad it is here. I won’t try and be too wordy. Here’s my story:

I met and married my wife in 2011. We have been through a lot as I am a Pastor and Hospice Chaplain, and we have had seasons of feast and famine. About the time we started having kids, she cut me off to focus on them. And she still justifies it to this day that she was right to do so. So of course emotional fractures happened. I grew resentful, and so did she. This built up for years in our 15 year relationship, but we had our ups and downs.

Fast forward to this year, after a very foolish decision to take on more than she could as a foster parent, we had a very rough patch involving her needing some space. So the weekend she was supposed to get away, a guy she had been talking with for months without me knowing, met up and slept with her. She immediately realized what she did, and came to me, confessed all, and gave me all access to phone, account, social media, etc. Been working on reconciliation the last two months.

Today, we signed a separation in which we have come to some major issues that need worked on, but she ultimately decided she needed to. So here we are, 15 years, five kids, and a separation. Thankfully the terms are fare, we are 50-50 custody and no alimony or CP. We agree on bills and I am actually doing much better financially since I found out most of my check is not going to Amazon. But I am so angry right now.

The old saying is true: “Men will sacrifice their happiness for the sake of their family. Women will sacrifice their family for their happiness.”

I hope these months I will mature her as she has to survive on much less income. We are hoping long term reconciliation but I have boundaries and if she crosses them then we will divorce on the grounds that she has committed adultery. I have done nothing wrong as a pastor, I am not in any sin. But I just can’t believe this is happening. 15 years of my life for what?