My ex and I got together about a month to the week after I came home from Afghanistan with the Army. I had just turned 21, she had just turned 18. She was beautiful, funny, quirky, and different. We experienced all of the highs and lows of life together. She was my best friend. Somewhere is the 13 year we were together we drifted apart. I blame myself even though everyone says I shouldn’t. She was horrible to me at times. My self depreciating nature says I probably deserved it but literally everyone who loves says I don’t.

This brings me to my point. I’ve been told (and I’m sure you have all heard this too) that there is a life after divorce. My question is, but will it be a better one? I truly want to grow old with someone. I want to be happy. I just can’t see a world in which it will happen. I feel like I’m too this or that or not enough of something or everything. Maybe my ex was right and it’s just me.

I’m sorry for this post but this group has seemed really supportive and I’m finally posting it hoping that I can show how I really feel to you all. I hide it from my friends because I don’t want them to worry.