Wife filed for divorce. Been married 10 years and I’ve been in the military for 8 years. I’m confused on a couple of items that I need advice on.

  1. As far as the pension goes, is she entitled to 50% or even a percentage since I’ve been in the military for less than 10? I can’t get a firm answer on this because the different websites are pretty vague. The former spouses relief act talk about a 10/10 rule where it says that you must be in for ten years to be entitled to the pension. Is that true? IMO, if she’s entitled to any of it, then I will probably just get out because I don’t believe the opportunity cost is worth another decade just t get a small piece of what I could’ve. Instead I would rather get out and work for XYZ Corp where she wouldn’t get any of that 401k. I’m not trying to be hateful but from a self preservation stand point it just doesn’t seem worth my time to stay in this system if that is the outcome.

  2. My biggest priority is to have joint custody with my 2 kids and see them every week. She is refusing to leave California and my future jobs are mostly back east. Again, I may be forced to quit just to be able to be around my kids. My question is, what gives her the right to decide where the kids will reside? I have some very compelling arguments why it would be better to move back to the south where a Navy job would be and family is there. Also, taxes are less and lower cost of living. I don’t get the argument about the kids being in school here as the reason to stay. We’ve moved three times before and taking them out of school has never been a problem before.

  3. We’re trying to be as amicable as possible and fill out the MSA and split everything 50/50 and split the kids expenses. She makes maybe 15-20k less than I do a year. That will obviously go up over time for her. The only issue I’ve had is with her student loans (it’s the only debt we have). The loans are in her name and I don’t see a reason why I should have to pay half of her loans for multiple reasons. First, this only benefits her as she is the one with the skills earned through that school,and two, she has her own salary so why can’t she just pay them? And finally, her argument is that in a marriage everything is community property both assets and debts. Well, what financially do I get for putting her through school for three years? She would’ve had to work otherwise. I just don’t get this system. I feel like it’s just as rational for me to ask for 20% of her salary for the three years I supported her as it is for her to say that I need to pay 50% of her debts that she incurred during that time.

Not to mention that I’m splitting my TSP, IRA and cash with her and she’s only splitting her debt. This is one jacked up system we have here. Haha. Thanks for any advice.