Hey everyone, I’m in my mid 30s, currently married with 2 boys under 5 in a tough situation and I’m here looking for wisdom and advice from all of you. My wife and I have been together for 15 years and married for 8. Things have never been all that great looking back, but in the moment throughout those years they seemed ok enough I guess. There were red flags that I ignored due to my own self worth issues and people pleasing tendencies. There are way too many details to go over everything but this is what I wanted to hit in this first post.

We fight every day. It seems that there is always something that is upsetting her or somehow that I am not meeting her needs in one way or another. This has been a pattern for a very long time made worse by a relationship I had with a coworker that she thinks was more than what it was.

Most of the time it’s not yelling or anything like that and it’s always away from the kids. Sometimes there’s yelling on both of our parts and historically there were instances of scratching and throwing things at me. The physical stuff had been gone for a long time but just recently has returned in a couple instances of water being dumped on me and unfortunately her hitting me in the back of the head. Note that I have never and would never lay a hand on her.

I have been considering leaving for a long time but always thought she would see this differently and change. I think she has a good heart but I am at the end of my rope and I’m looking anywhere for advice. I’m open to questions and would be happy to answer them honestly I really just want to be happy again.