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ExaminationKlutzy194 Archive

View 5 posts and 312 comments by ExaminationKlutzy194 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

No. Move on. Other that having kids in common. Split and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:55 AM
3

No. If the judgment awards you the home then you have exclusive use. Make her go through her lawyer, at her expense, if there is something that she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 01:11 PM
23

The woman you divorce is not the woman you married. People are with you for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. She chose season. You still have your lifetime. It’s hard to see that now while you mourn this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:10 PM
17

The best revenge is a life well lived. The opposite of love is indifference. Don’t do this school kid crap.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 08:50 PM
5

Women lie. The hamster wheel of her rationalization is redlining. Don’t listen to what she says, watch what she does. I don’t judge by the cover but after reading the story…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 01:14 PM
6

And you live in California. That’s a big issue here.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 11:46 AM
8

I left for three days. I returned and I decided to call her bluff. We ultimately did divorce. I am writing this from the house that she tried to throw me out of. No children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:11 PM
11

This should be an easy court win for you. The argument is that mom is unilaterally changing the current life of the children. For your part you will need to show that you can fully support them in getting to school and their activities until they are 18 or graduate. Mom will still be mom and get visitation, but the responsibility is on her to show it’s the children’s best interest to move to Wisconsin. (Biased as I do live in Wisconsin, and I’m not the dude marrying your ex. It’s just a pretty s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:26 PM
1

I have a bike and I love it but there are about 6 months a year in my state where snow and ice puts a damper on it. A bike is kind of a sunk cost too. One and done unless you are always trading for another. It’s not a bad option. But think through the limitations.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:19 PM
1

The woman you married is not the same woman you divorced. But you are mourning the woman you did marry. I’m a year and 4 days since she moved out. Just short of 3 months since the divorce was final. And Lord willing, she will sign the quit claim deed today and I will be able to finish a refinance. This is truly an eat the elephant one bite at a time journey you are on. You will have days up and days down. I try to accept that there will be some pain from time to time. Listen to sad music and the…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:21 PM
4

I am 3 days past 1 year. It’s hard. It will get easier. And you will still have days. But it will get better. Hang in for your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:39 AM
1

I kept the house. Initially I wasn’t going to move, I have a special needs son. Also an elderly parent and no siblings in the area to help. Since then my son has moved out into a residential program and is thriving. Parents health is declining too. Not happy about the latter part but 12-18 months from now they may no longer be here. I may move later. The issue now is finding a new place to live, and even with being able to roll the gain over from this place to the next one, essentially having to…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 11:04 AM
11

Today is about 2 1/2 months since the divorce was final, but a year and a day since she moved out. What it took: It’s a temporary financial setback that I’ve already taken steps to recover from. What I got in return: I’m lonely sometimes, but learning to use the thing I have, time, to do things that interest me. It took much of my day yesterday, but I brewed my first batch of beer. I’ve started to make this house into the home I want, rather than just give over the styling to her. A new dog. Pou…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 05:31 PM
12

Worry about your daughters, and worry about being the best father you can. As for the ex wife, take a moment to look at the car wreck, but then drive on. It’s in the distance.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 11:24 AM
3

Make sure she’s the one that moves.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:28 PM
3

The woman you divorce is not the woman you married. Don’t hold onto an idea that is no longer true.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:34 PM
1

4%. A bit less now since I originally wrote since rates are dropping.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 03:22 PM
4

Get a lawyer. If there’s another lawyer in the picture, even as a boyfriend, this is driving her judgement. Make sure you have representation and don’t look back at fairly splitting assets and most importantly, custody and placement of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 11:10 AM
1

That’s where I am. And the difference is about $200 a month.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 11:49 AM
5

It’s just one day. Tomorrow is a new one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 07:42 PM
1

If you can afford to pay her out of a retirement account then you can refinance a current rates which will be higher than the past, but when you actually run the calculation, likely not that much more than what you were paying before
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 01:36 AM
7

I have roughly 45% of the take home that I had prior to the divorce (two incomes). But I spend considerably less. I kept the house. I paid her from my retirement. I know how to invest. I figure it’s going to take 5 years to get back to where I was pre divorce and 10 years to exceed that. And I can retire in 12-15. So it’s not a net loss.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:01 PM
3

What’s the upside of staying in contact with her if she decides to date or not? There isn’t one. You’ll just keep feeling hurt (which you should) for a longer period of time. I wouldn’t be in contact with my ex if I didn’t have to be. I’ve told her a few times about some things she left here at the house that belong to her. She’s made no effort to retrieve them. At some point I’ll sell or donate them. But I’ll live my life and not in a way that depends on her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 11:28 AM
4

I would consider remarrying. I would talk to a lawyer to discuss the ins and outs of a prenup. I would also consider how long i have known this girl. And things like if she has debt or kids or other bad habits/red flags. If it is new, give it time. 2 years at least.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 01:19 PM
8

You can’t be friends with a woman. Married or a lover or some such. But you can’t be friends. Not like that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:18 AM
1

Get your own appraisal. Likely you will meet in the middle. Or if you have to fight then you have two witnesses to testify how they came to their conclusions.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 07:43 PM
22

My wife was planning her exit for some time. And it didn’t help that she had a recently divorced friend whispering in her ear how good of a time that she was having post divorce. After she moved out she actually told me that it was my fault that I didn’t come to talk to her during the period in which we were filed as I was sleeping in a separate room and keeping to myself. Because she clearly had broken legs and couldn’t walk through her own free will. The hamster wheel of mental gymnastics that…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 10:04 AM
1

Keep. Your. Kids. That move will be a train wreck for them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 11:54 AM
20

With a bucket of crabs. One crab tries to crawl out and the other crabs pull them back in. Such also with women, they can’t stand one being happier than they are. Divorce rabies is a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 02:22 PM
6

The woman you divorce is not the woman you married. They are not the same inside
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:27 AM
2

Did the same. I was a good saver/investor. She was not. I had my retirement assets back to pre-divorce within 18 months plus I had a house. Granted my mortgage is slightly more than it was, but I can still afford it. I have a good 12-15 years before retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:10 AM
4

My ex-wife did this. But she didn’t have the discipline to make it last. A neighbor couple ran into her at a restaurant and were more than happy to tell me later how she didn’t look good. I have to keep at the gym and keep track of what I eat and drink (I do have live a little once and a while) but I am overall better looking than I was before I met her in 2015. The poster above who suggested Rich Cooper is on the money. Get a copy of Unplugged Alpha 2nd edition and start reading and understand …
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:07 AM
5

You don’t want the expense. But you need a lawyer. Don’t sign anything until you have one. Don’t enter into any written agreement until you do.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:05 AM
8

Get a lawyer. She’s been planning this for a while and is ahead of you on the planning curve. Don’t agree to anything now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 08:05 PM
2

They always come back.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 10:15 AM
1

I went with Brick from Anchorman.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:12 PM
9

The woman you married is not the woman you are divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 10:42 PM
0

Terrible idea. Use your lawyer to get things done, like an appraisal, things that will put you in a better position and potential outcome. Nothing is assured. But you now have another mind working on a problem that you have which allows you to devote the time and energy that you would spend self representing in a pursuit that would be better for you. You will still have stress and some worry, but less of it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 12:02 PM
1

You haven’t finished grieving yet. Once you do you will be more at peace with it. And she hasn’t figured herself out yet either. The woman you divorced is not the woman you married. Don’t expect it to make sense because it can’t. If there is any comfort, the first relationship out of a divorce tends not to work out. Her. You. Anyone. There are exceptions. But as a rule, they tend not to. I’m almost a year into it and I still have days where o don’t want to go out either. I don’t drink much. I se…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 12:02 PM
5

I was. I wouldn’t say I wasn’t frustrated with her when we split. But that was personality and behavior. But I was still attracted to her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 09:56 AM
2

Grieve. Find 1-2 good male friends to confide in. A male therapist isn’t a bad plan. Stop trying to solve this issue as her husband, this wasn’t an off the cuff decision, likely something she planned for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:14 PM
4

Don’t move out. Talk to attorneys. Really you don’t want to but it’s the fastest way. Control the narrative. Get screenshots if you don’t already have them. Be ready to use them if friends/family criticize your decision. Don’t try to save her. You have to worry about healing you (even if you don’t think there’s anything wrong with you). She’s an adult. Don’t rationalize her decisions or blame them on mental health or anything like that. It may be true but at the end of the day she’s still an adu…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 01:46 PM
6

At some point you realize that the woman you divorce is not the woman you married. At this point, maybe a month out from it being over, she is almost a complete stranger and mystery to me. And I’m better off for it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 12:01 PM
4

I think No More Mr Nice Guy is overrated. But I would go with The Unplugged Alpha 2nd edition
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 11:24 AM
7

Some man will always poke her Box.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 09:08 PM
2

I make roughly 30% less than my STBX. While the divorce isn’t final, she’s been out of the house for like 6 months. I feel that I live well and can reasonably buy anything I want. And at the same time, I’ve been able to pay all the bills and save a decent amount of cash since she has been gone. The divorce sucks. But my finances are drastically improved.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:16 AM
10

She took my dog.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 11:34 AM
1

My advice, for what it is worth, like sobriety, deal with one thing at a time. Don’t work on one thing while worrying about the next…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 12:05 PM
1

Now isn’t a bad time to go to church if you are inclined. You will meet people. Not to date. Just to talk to. Try an evangelical type.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 12:04 PM
15

Usually when a woman wants to separate, she has thought about that, planned that for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 10:44 AM
1

I got a letter from the local child support agency in WI asking when my son graduates. He turned 18 in January 2025, but he graduates in early June. The support order will be terminated by the local agency as of June per the letter I received. The advice on 19 and the GED is otherwise correct.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 11:36 PM
10

One truth that I have learned; we are all day to day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 11:18 AM
1

You need to grieve. Really work on grieving both relationships. Maybe then, you can put yourself fully to a new one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 09:49 AM
8

If you can handle it, try a podcast called Men’s Divorce Recovery. Start early in the series and work forward. Listen to 1-2 and take a break if it all feels like too much. Lots of good tips on how to “feel” your way through the coming months. “Don’t make it worse. And determine to finish well.” You need to get a lawyer as you have realized. Find one to two good male friends to confide in. Men. Not women. Hopefully they will just listen. And don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, even i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 11:46 AM
2

This is grief. It’s awful. Find help in working through it. You don’t ever have to trust her again and you shouldn’t, but right now she’s figuratively “winning” in a way she shouldn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 11:49 AM
8

Remember to control the narrative. Figure out who you need to talk to on the front end to explain why. Because if you don’t they will only hear her version of events.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 10:19 AM
11

Because the woman you divorce is not the same as the woman you married.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 11:16 AM
5

Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 10:56 AM
1

I had a realization that while I had flaws and things to work on, I was actually doing that work, and my ex had no interest in fixing herself. It was just easier for her to move my goalpost. I have my moments, but I have been far happier since then. I’ve enjoyed my own company, and have taken the opportunity to recommit to work with my volunteer Fire Dept, and get back to the gym, and occasionally go out to hear live music. Beyond that I recommitted to my job, and a professional development clas…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 11:06 AM
2

Let them. Let me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 10:54 AM
1

The woman you divorced is not the same woman you married.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 11:47 AM
9

Be prepared for no emotion as much as crazy emotion. But get the list of your reasons together and don’t lose sight of them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 01:40 PM
13

Truth. As I head into chapter 3, I am fortunate to be doing well financially and lead a lifestyle that is not driven on or by material things. And at the same time, I can buy about anything I would really want, within reason. This time around my financial plan will be independent of any relationship I may have in the future. I will keep that moving forward on my own terms.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 10:25 AM
1

Look out for you. The person you end up divorcing is not the same person you married.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 10:08 AM
3

You need to do something besides ponder an option. The exercise is a great start. Don’t quit that. Is there a dog park? I take my dog to the dog park once a week, on a routine, to see people. Bowling league? Dart league? Book club? Guitar lessons? Fishing? Meetup.com ? Volunteer somewhere. Seriously. Just be a worker bee. I started with a church and pardon the pun it’s been a God send, even if I have down days. Choose something. Try it. If it doesn’t work, try something else. You have to try. No…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 10:43 AM
17

They need to show the world they were right.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 05:15 PM
5

Men age like Sean Connery. Women also age like Sean Connery. Someone will want to poke her box until they won’t. So get to work on being the best version of you, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 12:00 PM
4

If you don’t want to marry, don’t marry. That’s the simple part. Read Gatekeepers by Shawn Smith and The Unplugged Alpha by Richard Cooper. Use that as your base on dealing with the upside and downside of women. Walk away if you don’t have what you want. There’s something like 4 billion of them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 11:12 AM
3

If you don’t have kids it may be a push unless you think she will trash the place. If you have kids, or think she will trash the place, then stay. My ex tried to get me to move. I left for 3 days and went back. She eventually moved. It was the right decision.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 09:40 AM
1

Some states are at fault or have alienation of affection. Others do not.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 12:25 PM
14

This is a fumble and you recovered the ball. Run with it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 06:46 PM
2

I had a young son when I got divorced and it was tough because I had nearly 100% placement. I did have a gym which had a child care and was able to go there and exercise and place him there while I did that. There was a divorce support group I joined via meetup . Com It was ok. But basically everyone started banging each other. I met a decent enough woman there and while we didn’t work out long term it was ok. Meetup has different activities. Find ones you enjoy and see what’s out there. Don’t g…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 11:19 AM
8

Let them think what they want. Let you live your life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 09:17 PM
5

No. You will never forget the past. You can forgive it. It you will always remember it. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:59 AM
3

It’s going to be a process. Up and down. Like waves. Your lawyer sounds like they have a good process down. Understand that there’s often a time component and that makes things harder for you in the waiting later on. This becomes a marathon not a sprint. So do your parts, submit things, and make your peace with it and wait for things to work out. They will.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 12:44 PM
25

Trickle truth. You never get the whole truth straight away. And you probably still haven’t.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 11:33 AM
6

As I think about this a little more, go to a pharmacy, get a DNA test, test your children and yourself and have the results mailed to a relative or a trusted friend in your name. Do not tell your wife. If they come back as yours you are fine. If not, you need to go talk to a lawyer about your options. This could be a huge mess.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 01:53 PM
3

11/10 do not recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 01:44 PM
1

No. If you file first and your spouse gets a lawyer, they will probably file a counter-claim. It just realleges your filing. You can still negotiate like normal. It’s just lawyer stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 05:23 PM
2

Ask yourself how often you get angry in other situations. That’s going to be an insight.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:19 PM
6

If you are getting angry you are losing frame. That should tell you something about you or the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 11:13 AM
5

I think that a lot of our suffering is the idea that we think we should suffer for her when she doesn’t. Or suffer to keep her from suffering. Let her suffer. Let her feel figurative and actual pain. You deal with yours. You’ll be a lot happier sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 04:07 PM
2

Get the job lined up. Move. Don’t look back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 11:54 AM
4

I don’t know that there’s a hard and fast rule of thumb. I have had a few dates and haven’t expected much out of them. I’m in month 7 after I was told the divorce and I’m just getting to a point where most days I don’t feel terrible.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 09:31 AM
8

There’s a reason why the Bible tells men to love their wives and wives to submit. It’s the same reason men should love their children. You just happen to be married to the most responsible teenager in the house (at least some of the time, currently my son gives her a run for her money)
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 10:30 AM
18

She can enjoy menopause alone in a shitty empty apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 10:28 AM
4

Follow the court orders, don’t let her manipulate them or you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 10:52 AM
3

The next thing you should do is pay to go talk to a family law lawyer and learn about how a divorce will actually work.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 10:36 AM
18

The woman you divorced is not the same as the woman you married. You can remember the good times. And take a minute and write down all the bad times. Tuck the list away for later. Read over it when you feel like you need to look back. It sounds like you haven’t resolved all that baggage from the marriage. It takes a while. Nearly 7 years for me at one point. Maybe a male therapist will help. Maybe you need to make other changes to shake things up. It’s hard to say over from this. Just don’t quit…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 12:49 PM
2

It’s very much a grief process. You will be up and down, angry, sad, numb,… all of it. Sometimes you’ll have to work on just getting through the next 5 minutes. Other times you’ll have a great day and barely think about it. The woman you are divorcing is not the same as the woman that you married. There is also a reason why the book of Proverbs constantly reminds husbands to love their wives as children and for wives to submit to husbands. But we are far past that state.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 09:40 AM
1

Yeah, this is unfortunately a trial question.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:16 AM
1

An internet search for high yield savings account will help you. Create a budget. Dave Ramsey has a free model to work off of and there are many others. Spend 5-10 minutes each morning looking at your bank account and your budget and seeing where you are at. Look specifically at yesterday’s spending. Work to save $2000 into an emergency fund. Like if the tires blow on the car kind of thing. Automate as much of your monthly bill payment as possible, or at least use a bank sponsored bill pay syste…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 01:40 PM
6

Last night when I tried to reconcile my wife told me that she decided to quit. That too felt like a death sentence. I still woke up this morning. And will tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 05:03 PM
24

I only had to stick my finger in that power outlet once to know it was a bad idea.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 11:05 AM
1

I loved my dog and as the final FU my ex took him. And how he’s super fat. I’ve got a new dog and he’s pretty wonderful. My son is 18 and finishing high school. He will be entering the job force after graduation. No other kids to worry about. So it’s fair to say my life is soon to be very different. And as cool as my dog is, and it was probably the right decision to get another one, there are times where I think to myself that I could also make different decisions in life if I didn’t immediately…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 12:13 AM
1

Need to cut off all contact for at least 30 days. Don’t read any texts. Don’t look at any pictures. Don’t look or use any gifts. Do not respond when she reaches out. Box that stuff up and put it away. Watch a few videos on going silent, no contact after a breakup. Reclaim your power and agency.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 12:06 AM
7

The woman you divorce is not the same as the woman you married. You are grieving. Keep grieving. But as suggested, keep working to improve yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 01:37 PM
6

That’s tough. Sounds like you may still have some grief to process.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 08:58 AM
27

The best revenge is quiet and complete. Don’t storm. Just get the job done legally and without remorse. The less you speak to her about it, if at all, the better. This will add to her madness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 01:09 PM
1

Amen. Work on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 12:53 PM
2

Honestly, I think you’d be surprised. I live in Wisconsin, county of about 80000 people. Little festivals and stuff on the weekends, beer gardens and that. Lots of variation on the ages of the bands. I think you’d fit right in to the right band.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 10:03 PM
1

And the tactical guide to women. Also by Shawn smith. I think Richard Cooper has done a better job in his Unplugged Alpha than Rational Male series because his book is more immediately actionable. It’s not that rational male is bad, it just doesn’t help as quickly in the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:17 PM
1

That’s a new one, haven’t heard stoicism equated to fascism and the alt-right. Getting back to your original point, I was going to suggest that maybe go out and get a massage. Not a rub and tug, but a legit massage. It might help.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 12:29 PM
2

Could you imagine, finding your thing is music, making it even as a part of a popular local band and your ex having to watch this fame? That’s a life well lived men.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 11:58 AM
5

I don’t know the ages of your kids, but finding something to do, outside the home, once a week, with other adults is pretty critical. Bowling or dart league, fishing, book club, jam band… I don’t know what interests you, but find that thing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 06:19 PM
5

The harder you look, the less you find. Stop looking, be happy, don’t hide in your home and that person tends to find you. I don’t know why that is. But it is. Desperation I think.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 10:29 AM
6

Take it for what it is. But don’t respond.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 01:54 PM
2

I momentarily left my home. Came back after 3 days. My wife stormed about wanting space to figure it out. I told her I’d live in the basement. It would take nothing less than a court order to get me out of a home I jointly owned. I lived in the basement. Used a bathroom that she didn’t. Stayed largely out of the kitchen when she was in it. She moved out less than 60 days later. She wasn’t working on anything..
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 12:32 PM
1

It’s normal to want a relationship and physical contact. It almost never works when you go looking for it. It’s the difference between giving off an air of desperation and willingness to settle versus being selective. And it’s hard to explain. And I also struggle because I also want the physical intimacy. Read the tactical guide to women and gatekeepers by Shawn smith. Also unplugged alpha by Richard cooper. And the subtle art of not giving a fuck is surprisingly good. Set some modest and achiev…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 10:50 AM
5

Grief is hard. Sometimes I’m angry. Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes I’m numb. Do feel lonely too. Keep at it. Keep getting out. This current relationship may not last, but enjoy it for what it is. Keep moving. You seem to be doing well.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:01 PM
1

Go find a male therapist. Talk this out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 10:16 AM
9

If a woman asks for an open marriage, she already is thinking about cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:48 PM
1

Usually there will be an affidavit by the processor that they attempted service or that they know they are knowingly being avoided. You can also serve notice by publication in a newspaper or record. There are options.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 10:52 AM
3

Have you sought help for grief? You have pain, and it may be more radiant to others than you think. And while the pain isn’t your fault, that can drive people away. But again, it’s grief. And it takes time to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 10:32 AM
5

Let them. Let me. Let them… do whatever. Drink. Breakdown, etc. You are not responsible for her happiness. Let me, control me. It’s simple, and it’s really hard at times. Find a few male friends you can confide in. Even just to text from time to time. If she does take off this weekend, maybe see if you can shift and have your buddies over. You still get some company and will be there to look after the kids. Just don’t get shitfaced. Women seldom take accountability for themselves. It’s a tale as…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 10:09 AM
1

Keep your home. Figure out a way to make it work. Once you are divorced and the house is in your name, reevaluate options. You are likely going to be in a better financial position if you sell later. Personally, my decision was to pay her equity out of my retirement. It’s a hit to my retirement, but I have another 20 years to work and recover. Plus the home that will be paid off. Maybe I’ll sell this house in a few years. I can’t imagine that I will end up losing money. Besides time, the one thi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 10:04 AM
3

I think more people have them than admit. However, as much as the marriage and a divorce is pain, it is a better alternative than ending your life. There will always be another day for you. And another opportunity to make a good change to your life. Ending your life will not be the good end. No matter the hardship, determine to finish well in life. Not as someone that people think of and shake their head in sadness.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 10:00 AM
1

The Unplugged Alpha, 2nd edition by Richard Cooper. This should complement very well with the gatekeeper and tactical guide to women books.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 10:45 AM
1

I second the advice to seek out a few Al-alon meetings if your decision is to stay and your wife works on her sobriety in AA. If she is not willing to do that, then you have to take care of yourself. Good men are, I believe, largely wired to look out for women, particularly our spouse, even if it’s to our disadvantage. But it does not mean that we have to do everything to make sure that a woman/spouse never feels discomfort or the consequences of their actions or choices. It’s hard to understand…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 11:26 AM
8

Go watch about a dozen videos on the YouTube channel called “they did what?” Or “strong successful male.” (It’s the same guy) It will lay out the path to follow, and yes, you at some point, after you have prepared your legal vengeance, let the other spouse know. They deserve that, since the AP is a shit bird.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:43 PM
2

I mostly avoided my ex’s parents post divorce. At my son’s 8th grade commencement ceremony, my former MIL came to me, looked at me, and told me I did an amazing job helping him get there. I didn’t expect that. We have at least been cordial since that time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 12:05 PM
1

I did this and we were able to work out a child custody and placement plan that we could both live with. After that, splitting assets and money and the debt we had was a piece of cake. It more or less worked out for the next 17 years, my son just turned 18.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 09:37 AM
5

It happens. Take the pills ahead of time. Lay off the booze and keep on the workout like you are doing. - Older Dude advice.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 12:41 PM
1

Sounds like you know the answer to your own dilemma. What will make you happy again? Take responsibility for that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 06:44 PM
4

She isn’t yoked in the same way you are. You carry a burden that she doesn’t and can’t and won’t. You are not in a healthy situation. And it needs to stop. I am sorry to have to say that. It will hurt your kids more to stay in a place where they watch this kind of dysfunction. Will a divorce cost you emotionally? Yes. But the marriage already is breaking you. Financially? Yes. But again, you can make money. And even though I make far less than my soon to be ex, I also spend less and I don’t beli…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 10:14 AM
4

Read Gatekeepers by Shawn Smith. It’s all about identifying and screening out this woman
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 08:59 AM
1

Really. It’s mindset. Like the others said, make sure you are doing stuff for yourself. Love to workout here too. And I spend a lot of time walking my dog which forces me to get outside. If I could add one more suggestion, think of a meal you really like and cook it for yourself. Or try a new recipe. I’ve been doing a lot of Asian cooking myself. Just yesterday, I had two dates in about 30 hours. Didn’t sleep with either of them. Just enjoyed my time, and the conversation. One was dinner and liv…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:47 AM
1

Talk to a lawyer. It will depend on how long you both were married, any money you may have jointly put into the house, and if your state is a community property state or some other marital property scheme. So in short, it depends.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:09 PM
2

Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 02:54 PM
6

I don’t know why other than emotion. It takes longer to do everything than it should. I’ve noticed that too. I think it’s because of emotion and having to do it as opposed to wanting to do something. Don’t over analyze. Accept that perfect is the enemy of good enough and move.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 11:59 AM
4

That’s a rough road brother. Not going to say anything more about that. Hang in there. Know that I am about to say my morning prayers and I will include you and your kids in them. Try to get up today and go do something small for yourself. Even if it’s getting a coffee at a coffee shop and watching people. God bless.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 11:03 AM
5

Some thoughts: You have to focus on YOU and your son. Not her. That’s a hard way to start to think after having been married for a while and used to thinking on what you want for the family. At some point the divorce will be final. Her problems won’t be your problems. Her discomfort won’t be your issue. You aren’t used to thinking about it that way. So she will have to be an adult and make adult choices and get a job and figure out how to be successful there. Go see a debt counselor. Take a list…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 10:49 AM
9

“you act like this is my fault” is an epic reply. Solid frame brother If she delays further ask for attorneys fees. An divorce agreement agreement and decree is an legal agreement. If she fails to follow it, she should suffer contractual penalties.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 12:44 PM
6

Try to find some men to spend time with. Bowling, archery, fishing, biking, whatever. Just make it a regular thing. Same with a church. Show up and listen and try to learn 1–2 names per service. It’s the message and the people. Give a church maybe 4 services. If it doesn’t feel like a good fit, try another one. The gym is great advice. Routine there is important and the key to success in any physical change. Be steady. I try to go walk when I feel lonely. I do live in a small town and I almost a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:01 PM
5

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 01:54 PM
8

You need a lawyer. Pure and simple. The reason for the divorce, narcissism, adultery, alcoholism, whatever it would be, doesn’t really matter to the law. I get that it matters to you emotionally. But it doesn’t often matter to the law unless it directly affects kids. So I would say find a good lawyer and work to put yourself in the best possible position coming out of your divorce. You’ll need probably good male friends. (Men) and maybe a male therapist, to work through the emotion. Good luck br…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 04:20 PM
6

Truth will come out from her in dribs and drabs and never be fully candid. That is not a healthy relationship to return to. Kids or no, end it and don’t look back so that you can be the healthiest father you can be and in time a partner to a worthy woman that you would choose.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 10:26 AM
3

If they are physical photos pack them off somewhere for the kids later in life. If they are electronic, take a bit of time and transfer them to a USB flash drive or something like that. Then you can delete them from your phone or cloud. That helped me move on a bit instead of being reminded of the happier times that my wife chose to walk away from.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 12:58 PM
3

Unclear if you are going to try the counseling. But, if you have no choice but to separate you need a lawyer. Separation is almost always code for divorce. She just won’t be direct about it. You never leave the home. You need to have placement of your kid until she figures herself out mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 10:38 AM
1

Good on you man. Go out and conquer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 01:49 PM
6

It’s ok to be alone. Sometimes it’s easy to remember that. Sometimes hard.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 01:48 PM
6

I would rent. My next goals would be to build an emergency fund (a legit emergency fund, not a I need new shoes or pizza fund) of probably $2000. Then I would look to save 3 months of take home pay. And then 6 months of take home pay. Store this in a high yield savings account. I know you have kids and I respect the fact you want to spend time with them. I think that’s being a good dad. You also need to boost your income. Whether it’s a part time job or finding a job that pays more, your take ho…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 12:23 PM
3

I don’t think these are the only two options nor the healthy options. And I say that as I go through my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 11:01 PM
8

That one is written a few times/ways in Proverbs.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 06:18 PM
1

Yes. You may want to talk to a therapist about that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 10:42 AM
4

Was there once. Had a full time job. Added a part time job to pay the debt down faster. It was a choice. Decided not to intentionally date. Found them anyway. But mostly made the debt my mission and that time invested was worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 10:40 AM
6

Just get it done and don’t look back. This is unfortunately a recurring thing you will experience with the lack of accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 11:17 AM
3

The woman you divorced is not the same as the woman you married. She changed. She isn’t the same. Don’t let her fool you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Find help. You owe it to yourself to be able to move beyond this to a better place.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 01:49 PM
2

TY!
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 02:07 AM
3

Get the 2 bedroom or a cheaper 2 bedroom and figure out a way to lessen other expenses.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 12:33 AM
11

Church. 3x a week weightlifting habit 2x daily dog walks. Daily Bible study. Teaching myself guitar Donating, throwing away, and selling things I don’t need. Cooking one good meal a week. Started studying for the CFP credential.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 12:31 AM
3

Ask one or both of the parents of the other kid to come along, serve coffee and play cards, or just the dad to have a beer and watch some football or something while the kids play. It may seem weird to be the single guy taking another kid into his home, even to play with his kid.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 12:51 PM
5

I would get a lawyer and let her have what she wants in the big picture, as in a divorce. Don’t settle for anything that clearly disadvantages you or your kids and for God’s sakes, keep the kids or you’ll likely never see them again if they go with her overseas. Watch her implode from a distance. It will be sad. It will be amusing. It will give you a lot of mixed feelings. Live the best life you can.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 12:46 PM
5

Talk to a lawyer. Are you in a no-fault divorce state? Or in a state where infidelity plays into divorce? If the latter, gather evidence. It may help you in the divorce. I also agree. Never move out absent a court order. I slept on a couch in my basement. That sucked but it was enough to get my wife to decide to leave. Now I’m keeping the house.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 11:24 AM
7

Read Gatekeepers by Shawn Smith. It will be illuminating when you consider what you went through with this first GF.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:59 PM
3

To the OP- Last night I went to a movie with a female friend, not a romantic partner at this time. That also felt great. So I get it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 10:48 AM
7

Those are some pretty amazing accomplishments brother. I would be proud to be close friends with the man that did half that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 10:47 AM
2

People make fun of him because his advice is simple, but it also works. Follow the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace plan for financial recovery. At least up until a certain point. The short of it: Save $1000 into an emergency fund. It’s only an emergency fund. Like if the car shits the bed or the tires blow out or something. Not for pizza or new shoes or something like that. After you achieve that go to step 2. Adjusted for inflation, Today I might suggest $2000 or $2500 is a better number. Put this …
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 10:54 AM
2

Agree with the above. Just enjoy yourself now. Don’t get confrontational about political stuff. No need at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 02:46 AM
2

Read the tactical guide to women and gatekeeper. Both by Shawn smith. He’s a psychologist. Do some of the writing exercises suggested and think out your strengths and weaknesses. It will help you be more confident as to your path, and recognize that not all female relationships are healthy. It helped me pass on one already.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 11:26 AM
3

Watch my son get his Eagle Scout award. Watch him finish high school. Start the CFP program and complete at least 1/2 of the course work. Lift at home. I am starting with some dumbbells and body weight exercises focusing on upper body and using just a simple bench. Hope to progress back to either Starting Strength’s program or some plan out of Tactical Barbell. Walk at least 15000 steps a day. The dog will help me with that. Once or twice a week will be a ruck workout. It ties into 5 and 6. I’m …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 04:29 PM
3

Just about everyone’s first post divorce relationship fails. Mine did. Her name was Kate. In some ways it was as bad as the divorce. At about the same age as you are, I also had to live temporarily with my parents, they became ill and needed help. It was good to have the safety net, and they had concern for me so it worked out, but I also acknowledge what you probably feel, you are a grown man and want your own space. I tried to find things to do for them to be as helpful as possible and this al…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 04:11 PM
5

Get as much documentation together as you can that she’s been gone and the kids have been with you. Keep it going forward if you don’t. But don’t tell her you are doing that. Talk to the lawyer about what to document.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 10:47 AM
2

No idea. I imagine it’s relative to what you need and where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 01:25 AM
5

I would not let her negotiate the “when.” It’s now if this is her decision. Not 3 years down the line. That would be like having a curable cancer that won’t kill you and deciding to just wait 3 years to have it addressed. It will take a toll on you and your kids. Plus you won’t get those 3 years back and will still have to heal afterwards. My wife did the passive aggressive thing. Then she tried to get me to leave under the suggestion of a “separation.” I was stunned and briefly did. 3 days late…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 11:23 AM
1

Following… update me
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 11:13 AM
4

I’m guessing if you go that you’ll look like a good dad and she will look like a moron. I vote suck it up and go. (I’m also borderline thinking you need a gofundme for being able to hire an arm candy escort for a few hours to be your “date”. Some kind of obnoxious name like Svetlana or Destiny or Lushous.) 🙂 God speed brother.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 11:12 AM
2

Call an estate sale service. It’s a business that helps people sell households, usually after Grandma dies and leaves a household full of stuff. They take a % of the sale. The company will help you figure out what to try and sell and what to trash or donate. They may even have a dumpster available at the end of it to put everything in that doesn’t sell. One local service in my area will also take certain things off your hands and put it in a resale type shop as a way to help you get rid of it si…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 11:07 AM
6

My wife did that shit too. I almost fell for it. She ended up leaving. Make her own her decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 11:21 AM
12

I would be inclined to say no; you either stay or go and if you go that’s a divorce. But if you decide to separate, you don’t leave your house. She does. That’s a non negotiable as a man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 11:19 AM
3

Things are up and down. I had a low point the other day. Now I feel like I’m on the upswing. Like floating in the ocean or something. My buddy and I keep quoting a line from Platoon to each other: “Keep your powder dry and the world will turn.”
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 01:22 PM
3

I don’t know. I just found my wife on Ashley Madison and I have to wonder how long she’s actually been there.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 01:45 PM
2

I’ve had that thought too!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 11:01 AM
1

I have some decent PTO from my employer and in years past I have always rolled portions of it over. So I’ve got a decent bank of it. Since the divorce has been going on, about every 2 months, I’ve been talking off on a Thursday/Friday. I get a few more complicated things done here at the house. And I spend some time doing things I enjoy. I’ll go to a coffee shop and read a book. Take the dog on a longer walk at a state park. Eat wings at a sports bar and watch a game. That sort of thing. I have …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 10:57 AM
3

Work on your recovery. That has to be for you. Nothing in your life gets better until you make that your priority. Yes. There are two sides to every story. I’m sorry you are going through this brother. Odds are good that she was planning this for some time. At the end of the day there is a line a mile long for men who would want to take a shot at her box. You, however, are a man and you live or die by what you bring to this world, good or bad. Work on you. That’s what is before you now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 10:52 AM
4

Read the Tactical Guide to Women and Gatekeeper. Both by Shawn Smith. Both books discuss identifying the issues in you that lead you to the relationships that aren’t healthy and good for you. Like April. For me, her name was Kate. So I get it brother.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:13 PM
5

I haven’t lost interest in women. But I have more interest in the “right” woman. There’s an author named Shawn Smith. He has two books. I highly recommend reading them. The Tactical Guide to Women and Gatekeeper. Both are phenomenal and taught me a lot about my strengths and weaknesses as they relate to women. I don’t know if I will get in a serious relationship anytime in the future, but I’ve already used principles from both books to disqualify women that I might have once gone for that would …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:32 AM
2

Did the same with my house and the decoration. And also started to find my own interior art. Classic stuff (reproductions obviously). Paint in 2025. I’m excited.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:24 AM
2

Maybe text your daughter that you love her. I M sure you do. It will make her day in any case.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:22 AM
2

Try to be the cheer for your friend in this tough time. That game does sound pretty fun (despite it being the Texans). 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:21 AM
10

Just put the gifts under the tree for my son. Typical teen, he’s still asleep. 🙂 Missed out on yesterday’s loud drunken feast at the ex’s in-laws (admittedly the food was good). Being a lot more sober than I was a year ago is a good thing. Doubt my ex is the same this morning. Went to church last night. Was a quick service. Currently coffee, sitting with my new pup, and getting ready to read His Word after I finish this post. Now and then I have my tough days (had one a few days back) but I’m bl…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:19 AM
9

It’s really hard. Earlier this month I went and bought a tree, the lights, and a star, along with some outdoor lights. My son is a bit older so we put the tree together and he put the lights on the tree while I put the outdoor lights up. Then we hung the ornaments. In short, we made our own tradition. We made our own way. We are men. He was happy. I was struggling. But we made it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 11:41 AM
9

There were reasons that I married my wife. The truth though is that the woman you divorce is not the same as the woman you marry.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 12:33 AM
6

What you have going for you is awareness that you are still grieving and also that you may have fallen too quick. I once did that too. Her name was Kate. You can still have a life with your kids. It’s just going to be different. Talking to a male therapist is probably a good idea. And generally it’s not a good idea to get too far into a new relationship without fully concluding the one you are in. I respect the need for female company though. I feel that too. Entrepreneurs in Cars is some good Y…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 12:07 AM
3

I firmly believe that in marriage you are: 100% responsible for you. 100% responsible for your children, particularly when they are minors. This situation seems to be getting worst for you. I would take action to protect myself and my child by contacting a lawyer. Is separating right? Divorce? Full custody? I don’t know what’s right for you. But for me, protecting my kid would be #1, even if that resulted in the temporary removal of her mother from her life and the difficulties that would cause …
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 12:10 PM
2

You need a lawyer. For the DV. For the custody issue. They may not be the same people.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 02:34 PM
5

Assuming this isn’t charged as DV you need to start taking your own witnesses to exchanges
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 02:13 PM
3

I’m a lawyer and I wouldn’t recommend anyone go to law school to represent themselves. and it’s a crap shoot if you will get a high paying job. And you’ll still have to pay your kids support during school and study. $200k easy just to get through school. So no. Just keep on working on bettering yourself and finding a better way to provide for yourself and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 11:15 AM
2

Best thing he could do would be to talk to other dudes that are his age. After that, find a hobby or a volunteer gig or something to distract himself and put his energy into. Unfortunately the world keeps going on no matter how much pain we are in.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 07:45 PM
2

Control what you can, which is you and making a better day for your kids. You can’t control her choices. Nor are you responsible for them.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 07:43 PM
5

Look. I’m well aware of how pregnancy works. Have a couple kids. If this is true then there’s a couple factors to think about. It may be yours. She might have been pregnant or gotten pregnant later from another dude. So, your choice: A. Stick around and insist on a paternity test and accept any consequences of your actions. B. Skip off to Malaysia and go dark. Personally I think B is the terrible choice. But plan B was there for you too. I don’t know what answer you are fishing for. We are respo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 04:12 PM
1

Have you actually seen her since to see that she’s actually pregnant or just pretending to be pregnant to get money out of you?
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 03:55 PM
3

Brothers. Let’s assume this account is true. (And I have my doubts) She may be trying to extort you. If there is actually a child insist on having a paternity test done And she in the meantime has been sent back to South Africa while you could go to Malaysia? If you didn’t truly care why wouldn’t you leave for Malaysia now?
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 03:46 PM
2

This sucks. I’m sorry brother. My ex had a lot of mental issues shortly after our son was born. Went to a hospital for an extended stay. Raising a 1 year old and working full time was very hard. He stayed with me until she got her shit together when he was around 5. He turns 18 in 2 1/2 weeks. Looking back on it now, I wouldn’t trade any of that for any money or power or wealth. It’s tough. I get it. Hang in there. Do what’s right for your kids. Get full custody if you have to. If she comes back…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 02:50 PM
1

Second for a tool like family wizard. You need to start to create an electric paper trail to document your case for making this change.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 02:46 PM
3

This is a big deal. Good for you. Get rid of any remaining debt and you will be fully free.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 06:04 PM
6

Never leave the house. Make her leave.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 01:52 PM
0

In your case, given the military retirement, I would absolutely consult an attorney before making any decision. Your retirement benefits will be part of any divorce settlement. You may or may not have to pay short term support to your wife depending on her employment status and the state you are in. And there may be assets and physical property you very much want to try and conserve. I also am a firm believer in not leaving my home. If you are in an apartment I might think differently. But if yo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 12:20 PM
1

That’s kind of funny. Comeuppance is my favorite kind of uppance.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 10:56 AM
3

I am very close to your age with a nearly 18 y.o. son. There isn’t a lot of that kind of stuff where I live either. So I’ve had to improvise my own methods. I walk, and I intentionally do it in areas where I will see people. Maybe not people I know, but just seeing other people helps. It may also not be many, but one or two and smile and a good morning/good afternoon is sometimes all I need to put me in a better place. I got a dog. He gives me something to focus on and a reason to walk. And occa…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 01:02 PM
3

I’m not a huge fan but I was taking a lot from his Till I Collapse. https://youtu.be/Pi3_Zs-oRUo?si=-5Z2Ml9pMasIhaf_
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 11:35 AM
2

Yes. But I intentionally chose a male therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:29 PM
3

I usually had no problems falling asleep, but the issue was staying asleep. Now I sleep a lot better. Time has helped. At night when i lay down I think back on my day and what occurred and all the things I did the best I could on. It eases my conscience considerably. And being very honest, I have a new dog that is very attached and burrows into my side. It’s something else to focus on and take care of. That helps a lot too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:28 PM
1

It’s a State not national issue.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 01:57 AM
3

Rucking is walking with a weighted backpack. If you get outside you’ll find that it works your cardio harder. There have to be a ton of areas to do actual hiking and biking in TN, and generally better weather year round to do it. You can also probably find a cycling club and meet people. I haven’t had the chance, but Brazilian Ju Jitsu is said to be addicting and humbling. I might also check out yoga, kettle bell, or CrossFit type programs.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 09:25 PM
6

Had contact with mine last night. I think she’s having hers. But even when I offered to delay the divorce she declined. Guess she wants the equalization payment more than a marriage to me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:16 PM
2

It’s hard. It’s not going to be easy. But there has to be some small change you can make, career or social, to start to change things. You aren’t a failure. You are doing 100 things right. Unfortunately it’s going to take 102 or 103 to make that change. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 07:39 PM
8

Nice. Go out there and crush today.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 02:16 PM
6

Avoid alcohol and drugs. You will have ups and downs, but at least in my case, even though I have far less money every month I still have enough for all my needs (sometimes it’s a bit tight) but I have a very simple and happy life. I think that’s the way most dudes are. Do I have a place to sleep? Do I have food? Am I more or less comfortable after work? It’s enough.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 12:20 PM
1

Something similar happened to me once when my son was about 3. Got him and me enrolled in a state insurance plan (this was prior to the ACA) due to job loss. Also got food stamps and unemployment benefits. Had a new job with insurance in about 6 months. I reported that chance but the state let me stay on the insurance and food stamp programs for about 6 more months. That wasn’t bad. I just saved as much $ as I could in the meantime.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 09:01 PM
1

Get a lawyer. Cost is relative to where you live. You want to do something to make sure she can’t change your kids school or schedule without a court order. You want to freeze finances as much as you can at this point. As to separation or divorce the attorney will advise you best there from a legal perspective. But it sounds like she is mentally divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 04:50 PM
3

The tactical guide to women and gatekeeper, both by Shawn Smith. The unplugged alpha by Richard cooper. If you are Christian, Boundaries by cloud and Townsend. But it’s more a thinking book about how you want to be going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 01:32 PM
1

Want to add there will be other low points. But keep praying. Take care of your daughter. Work through this. The rest will follow.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 01:27 PM
9

The woman you divorce is not the same woman you married. Remember that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 05:26 PM
5

Eyes forward brother. Even one step forward is a step forward. Keep on the path.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 05:23 PM
4

It’s hard brother. We try to do the right thing always. Keep on keeping on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 04:35 PM
3

God bless Brother. Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil. - Proverbs 4:25-27
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 11:51 AM
2

You can’t think or find a better place out of the home that she doesn’t have access to for this discrete storage? Like a drawer at work or something? Dump the books and get ebooks on your phone? This plan sounds a bit like you want to get caught.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 11:56 AM
1

You’ll have to man up and talk to her. If she’s not interested then you need to take your lumps and keep moving.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 11:54 AM
2

Better you learned this about her now than after a move. Imagine how that shit show would have gone.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 11:53 AM
7

Sit it out for a year and work on yourself and be available to your daughter. Her life as a girl isn’t going to get easier with you less present in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 11:51 AM
4

There’s a lot here. I’d start by trying to get right with God, as you understand him. Agree you need an STD test. And stop fucking her and anyone else for a while. I don’t think you should move out. I would move home before the other dude comes and tell your wife that if this is what she wants, she needs to go. Stand your ground! You may need to quit drinking. Head to an AA meeting and humble yourself and be prepared to talk to them about what wasn’t good when you were drinking. Plan to go at le…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 11:47 AM
3

It’s not a bad time to start looking for a church that is a good fit. I went to church as a kid but got away from it in college. I started a few months back at a church where I knew one or two people, and I turned out that I knew a lot more people there than I expected. I actually look forward to Sunday mornings now. A few times people have invited me out for coffee after the service. Usually though I go home and take my dog on a good walk and then head to a coffee shop or breakfast place and ha…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 12:24 PM
17

You never move out. Have any paperwork ready for her on the morning she leaves. Put it in her luggage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 10:35 AM
2

You need to go get a lawyer and get filed so that a child custody/placement order is begun. You can’t ignore this for your child’s sake.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 10:15 AM
7

I just lived in the basement, which was more or less where I was prior to her telling me she wanted a divorce. I quit drinking. I walked the dog a lot, usually in the 10-12 mile a day range. (One day I did 19). I only came upstairs to make food in the kitchen or shower. And I kept on keeping on. She eventually lost her mind and moved out. Checkmate bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 03:01 PM
2

I’ve never been the guy that has to have the biggest newest TV or sound system or things like that. I also got a good set of stone dishes. Plates, bowls, that sort of thing. And a good vacuum. But really, I didn’t need much.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 01:38 PM
2

Got a new bed. Nothing fancy, just a new frame and Sealy memory foam mattress type both off of Wayfair. Got some new sheets and blankets and pillows too. All in maybe $900? It feels great. And I second getting a dog. That little nugget loves me and I love him. It’s great.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 06:24 PM
3

Dating does not mean Sleeping with someone which does not mean Long Term Relationship, Engagement, or Marriage. That’s one of the areas you will have to sort out. It’s ok to find someone interesting and just go do something and not have that necessarily lead to anything more than doing something together on that particular day. Just learn to enjoy that moment. It’s a mindset shift.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:30 PM
2

I don’t feel overly drawn to trying to date right now. On the other hand, I can be out and about and look and see a very attractive woman. And I have pretty typical male thoughts. Don’t force it or beat yourself up about it either.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 02:21 PM
2

If I may brother, don’t confuse dating with some type of long term relationship. All of us here can understand if you don’t feel ready for either, but they are two different things entirely.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 02:16 PM
3

I think asking for full custody and placement with supervised visits is reasonable until she can establish a track record of sobriety. It’s an issue for the 14 year olds safety. Nothing more. The 19 year old can presumably make their own choice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 08:36 PM
3

On the other hand, do you think it’s going to get better? If not, take steps to put yourself and, by extension, your child in the best future position.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 11:47 PM
5

Boundaries my friend. Set and maintain boundaries with the next one. Even a dog will act up if you allow it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 10:21 PM
4

Read a book called the unplugged alpha by Richard cooper. Another called the tactical guide to women by Shawn smith. This one is for fun. Not commitment. Too many red flags. You can stay with this one and then choose to leave when it suits you. You can also decide boundaries. Hey, when you get sloppy, I’m not staying around. And I won’t be around on X day. Stick with that. It’s your boundary.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 10:07 PM
2

I would still read those books.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 03:05 PM
2

This is likely going to be an issue until you resolve the current relationship you are in and put it to rest. To make an analogy, life isn’t a claw game. You don’t reach in with the claw and pluck out a new prize and replace the relationship you have. It’s a shift from going from a relationship mindset (today, tomorrow and next year) to one of just the moment (and no more). Essentially stoicism. You may need to consider at least not hooking up until you can address it. Two books to consider read…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:57 PM
3

And the tactical guide to women also by Shawn smith. Solid reads.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 10:35 PM
4

My middle step daughter (22ish) stopped by yesterday to talk. She wanted some advice. We talked about 90 minutes. It was a good talk. I still think well of her even though her mom and I have trouble. I won’t seek her out but she is close to my son (her step brother) and she knows she is welcome to continue to be in his life. Similar may be in store for you. Don’t close doors. Just roll with things and see what happens. And be clear and open about it with the new relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 10:32 PM
2

Read your divorce decree (settlement agreement or judgment) it may have language that places a freeze on things without some type of substantial change in circumstances. Usually they cannot be self-inflicted.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:50 PM
17

I left for 3 days and my wife went to party with her adult children. I ended up back at my house to take care of our dog. I decided to move back in and live in the basement. She screamed at me. But we’ve all been yelled at before. I finally told her that I was filing for divorce and that it would take nothing less than a court order to get me out of this house. 2 months later she moved out. Stand your ground.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:42 PM
11

The woman you divorce is not the same as the woman you married. She changed. She made decisions. They were not your decisions. You are going through the 5 stages of grief. Find men to confide in. Men. Get some church if that helps. Put the focus on you being well for you and your kids. They will need that. I’ll bet a bottle of good bourbon that she won’t make it with this dude. You will be fine. Maybe not in a relationship but you will be stronger and better. She won’t. That’s going to be some v…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 02:25 PM
6

Sounds like she is following step 5 or 6 of her recovery
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 07:26 PM
4

100% Gen X here, but my parents both worked so I guess I had to grow up and learn to do it myself.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 11:46 AM
2

I know they will have to go at some point, but I am struggling about what to do with pictures on my phone. (Not nudes). They are memories. We don’t exactly use photo albums any more. Maybe just shunt them to a separate digital album but that seems strange too. Don’t know the right answer.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 11:44 AM
5

If you make a point to stay in her life, it will be a non-issue. My wife and I divorced when my son was 1; she had bad depression. It was a mess. I stayed in his life. Very active. He’s about to graduate high school and finishing his Eagle Scout award. He loves both of us. She’s better now. I’m glad for that even if the marriage didn’t survive. And I’m glad for my son.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 03:16 PM
2

I don’t know how old your daughter is. I also am not one that thinks airing out all the details is the best… But, if she’s older, honesty and self reflection is always a good policy. If you were wrong admit it. What was the consequence? What did you learn from it? That sort of thing. Don’t downplay it. Don’t ignore it. But be humble. An older child will appreciate the honesty even if she doesn’t condone the act.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 10:21 AM
4

Gotta find other men.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 12:51 AM
18

Knock knock. Well, if it isn’t the consequences of her own choices…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:45 PM
1

You mentioned counseling. Marriage counseling? You might also need individual counseling. For you. Whether you stay or go, you may need that to get to that better place. And you have to be in that better place to be a good father, which is your responsibility as a father. You can do that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:44 PM
7

One thing at a time. Get a lawyer. Talk to them about legal options. Find 1-2 good male friends and confide in them. Consider a therapist for feelings. See a doctor if you are sick or need medication. See a minister if you feel spiritually ill. Each of these has a place and they don’t overlap.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:36 PM
2

100% this, particularly if you are able to get a refund. If you wind up with debt, someone is going to have to pay it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 01:48 PM
2

You are doing all the right things the right way. Take a read through a book called “The unplugged alpha 2nd edition”. I think if anything you just need a bit of a mind shift. That book might help push you in the right direction. Find some more hobbies or things that you will enjoy to get you out of the home. Since you work there, you have to get out more.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 05:51 PM
8

^ 100% this. If this separation is what she wants, she needs to go. This is the natural consequence of her choice.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 05:46 PM
1

lol. The book of proverbs has multiple entires about how it’s better to live in the corner of an attcic than with a quarrelsome wife.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 02:25 PM
2

Make sure that if you get a lawyer (and you should) that you don’t agree to her enrolling the kids in a new school that is near where her parents live. Argue to keep them in their current school. I would say that under no circumstance should you agree to that school change. That puts power back into your hands. And maybe the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:46 PM
11

Why do they do it? Because they are used to NEVER being called out or held accountable on it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:43 PM
2

Yeah. I remember how that felt. Her name was Kate.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 04:32 AM
1

It depends on where you live. I paid around $350 a year at one point. I moved to a smaller town and that price for the same service dropped to $225.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:57 PM
2

I found during and after divorce that one of the best things to spend money on was a good accountant or tax preparer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 03:19 PM
5

If she turns it around it will be because she got burned hard during her freedom. Consider that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 12:28 AM
3

You are going to go through the 5 stages of grief. It’s not fun, but it’s normal. Find 1 -2 good male friends to talk to. Men. Not women.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 12:27 AM
-2

You either provide for your family or you don’t. And if you don’t; you shouldn’t be shocked if your wife skips out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 06:30 PM
5

My wife sure didn’t mind the anniversary band I bought her. But a month later…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:46 PM
12

If she dropped the bomb she has probably been thinking and planning this for a while. So getting the lawyer is important. Confide in one or two close male friends. Do not look to other women for now. Focus on the path ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 04:33 PM
3

I’m a lawyer and last night I had dinner with my cousin who is also a lawyer and we had this discussion over burgers and beers. In this situation, if you live in a no fault divorce state, the “right” or “wrong” of things doesn’t matter unless it somehow rises to the level of being a criminal act. Lawyers handle law and the dissolution of a marriage. Accountants and CPAs handle tax issues. Therapists handle emotions and thinking. Doctors and nurses handle health issues. Ministers handle issues of…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:42 AM
1

Block her. End access to any app that you paid for and share with her. She’s trying to emotionally manipulate you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 11:56 AM
2

I don’t know how long you have been divorced or if you are still in the process. First, don’t rush dating or getting out there. Some of your answer will depend on your personal faith. Are you devout? Then you have a path to follow, but it also doesn’t mean that you can’t date. It just means be judicious about sex and perhaps not go down that path at all. If you are a bit more liberal, then you may have other options. You will have to do some soul searching and thinking. If you are not opposed to…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 02:39 PM
1

Sell shit you don’t need like the boat. Use it to pay for a lawyer. It does sound like you made poor choices on Snapchat. But learn from that and move on. Odds are good that you will have to sell the house and neither of it will be able to keep it based on what you described about your finances. So it’s a short term “win” for her at most.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 12:32 PM
3

Hang in there. The stuff with your stbx’s lawyer is unfortunately a common delaying tactic. I understand the desire to save $. On the other hand, if you have any surplus $, once you are free, you will be better off if you have minimal debt. If some is assigned to you as part of the division, attack it ruthlessly. So as far as saving, I might try for a very small emergency fund in cash. And then minimize any personal debt in advance of assigned debt. Hang in there brother. Things will change even…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 12:24 PM
1

If you haven’t, find a male therapist to talk t his issue through with.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 12:36 PM
2

this. Even if you can’t get marriage counseling, find a male therapist to talk this issue through. I got 8 free sessions and it’s helped immensely.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 09:36 AM
3

You are getting the better of it. The harder path for sure, but the better of it. Salute.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:26 PM
3

Find men. Women will be sympathetic and easy to talk to, but it will mess with your head a bit. If you have a pastor, he might suggest a person or two from the church to have a coffee with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 11:04 AM
6

No way out but through. Eyes forward.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 11:43 AM
4

Pay a lawyer cash to ask the question about the admissibility of the recordings.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 02:13 AM
3

I’d try marital counseling first. Set it up and talk about the issue. Then make the next decision.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 11:53 AM
-4

She likely has a right to that money. But I can see how that leaves a bad taste. If you don’t divorce, maybe split finances for a while and see how that goes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 06:11 PM
5

Get a lawyer. I would talk to them about filing for separation or divorce depending on what your state allows.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 05:57 PM
1

Not only a lawyer, but if your jurisdiction uses them, guardian ad litem for the kids is probably in order. May help with the custody and placement issue. Talk to your lawyer about the idea. You may also need a CPA. And for stress, a therapist. Try to pay the therapist in cash.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 02:24 PM
5

1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Specifically verse 15.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 02:19 PM
9

Men are typically direct communicators. Women are typically indirect communicators and good at hiding motive and intent. Odds are good that this was not a sudden decision for her, but one she had been planning for some time. This gives her time to process the emotion that you are suddenly dealing with. Try to find 1-2 good male friends to confide in. Men. Not women. You are going to experience all 5 aspects of grief in this process. This will be normal. You will survive. Surround yourself with p…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 02:10 PM
2

It never feels great. And you are going to feel different things at different times. Find one or two good male friends. Confide in them when you have to. But your world isn’t going to end.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 10:38 PM
2

Correct. Generally, usually right after a divorce, a court won’t reopen things absent some major change.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:59 PM
1

Not overreacting. Also going to be difficult to handle without actual abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:33 PM
25

She wants to keep you as a backup plan.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:40 PM
2

One thing I have learned in life is to not take them so seriously. Women don’t even believe their own bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:39 PM
1

Ironically I just had a STD and HIV panel today, at my annual physical, based on my stbx’s conduct…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 11:02 PM
3

Entrepreneurs in Cars is a good YouTube channel to help you sort some of this out as well.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 06:47 PM
2

I will be reading Gatekeeper next. Picked that one up first and decided to stop and read tactical guide first based on the first part of Gatekeeper.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 06:46 PM
4

There’s a really good book called The Tactical Guide to Women. It’s about 250 pages long, written by a psychologist. It addresses risk mitigation with women and things like this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 05:20 PM
3

Choice is pretty important in life and it sounds like right now you don’t have a lot of choice in things. Try to make a choice to go find a group of people and join them, even for a short time. I chose to join a church, turns out I knew a couple people when I got there and it didn’t seem so bad. You could also join a gym. Or a book club, or a road cycling group. Once you make some choices, you get some agency back. You will feel better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 11:41 AM
3

Honestly. Hire a quality family law attorney. That should be easy to draft.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 09:11 PM
1

As a JD, You could get a crappy lawyer that is in your same county or a good lawyer that practices in a county that is adjacent to yours. I would focus more on the specific need (guessing family law) as opposed to geography.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 12:00 PM
1

Women initiate most divorces. They are also very good about not telegraphing their intent and not directly communicating. Stop to think about this for a moment. How often did your wife out and tell you what she wanted versus having to spend a lot of energy trying to puzzle it out? If women did, you would have been working on the issue. As a relationship dies you will go through the 5 stages of grief. Look them up. Part of grief will be denial. I think that manifests as wanting the relationship t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 11:47 AM
6

I got sober after an ultimatum from my stbx. She divorced me anyway. Being sober is a good decision. The divorce hurts, but there is a good future ahead, just as being sober is a good future. And she chose to not stop drinking as well. As I worked on sobriety, that made her angry. She told me she was losing out because I wanted to avoid those alcohol situations.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 11:36 AM
4

If I were to say anything about my ex to my son, it would be: 1. Because he was old enough 2. And he asked, 3. And I would answer things as I knew them and 4. Not speak to anything I didn’t know about and, 5. Only do it once. After that, I’d just say that people make their own decisions and we are here in part because of that. Now we decide what to do from here on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 06:01 PM
4

The best I can tell you is to find a close male friend and unburden your soul to him. You need one, maybe 2 good male friends when things are dark like this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 09:39 PM
2

I initially left and came back after 2 days. My stbx was angry and I told her I would only leave if a judge ordered me out. I slept in the basement on a couch and avoided her. I focused on my son and stayed out of the house when he wasn’t home. She ended up moving out. It was a winning play for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 04:57 PM
6

Blue chew. Find some.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 04:54 PM
2

Find people to be with. Enjoy a meal. It won’t be the same but for a while it will help. Alternatively, volunteer, or get together with a group of others that you know will be single and have the celebration meal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 10:14 AM
6

I’ve prayed a lot and resumed my faith and church attendance. There is more to me than this marriage. And this marriage was not solely my responsibility. I can do work. I’m not afraid of work. Men should not fear work or hardship. God put us here to endure that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 03:17 PM
5

Mine had the gall to say that had I given her space and moved out we might of reconciled. This was during the same conversation when she told me she couldn’t keep living here and decided to move out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 12:34 PM
1

I’m a lawyer. Steps 1-4 above are the way.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 02:06 PM
22

Most women move on long before they tell you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 07:08 PM
2

62 when the kid graduates high school. Give or take. I plan to be retired at 62, and at least 15 years out of this divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 12:38 PM
1

I would not make a hard judgment about what God has or does not have in store for you without considerable prayer related to another relationship. I think a lot about Romans 8, in how we have choice to be like Christ or not. Which helps us when we have the choice to sin or not. I sometimes fail. I pray and repent and get to church and remember why God gave grace through Jesus. I do think seeking out the company of other men, as a support group, and you only need 1-2, will help you during this ti…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:03 PM
2

I made a list of things that I would consider my best qualities and aspirations. I also made a list of my worst qualities and what makes me feel most broken. I started small, but I am working on those broken things (restarting weight lifting and getting back to regular church attendance) , while learning how to do some of those aspirational things (learning guitar and continuing to experiment with cooking). These things take up my time and are my focus for a while. It distracts from the fear, wh…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 06:32 PM
12

My wife complained about my drinking. Then I did something about it. I’ve been sober a couple months. Guess what. She left anyway. She had a plan. Staying sober however, has been nothing but good for me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 06:04 PM
13

Women will usually find a way to rationalize everything, except doing the right thing to begin with.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 10:55 PM
4

I focused in on my son, he’s a senior in high school. Working with him to help him finish his Eagle Scout award. I work out, mostly walking. I hit 15000-20000 steps a day, and have lost over 45 lbs. I’d like to lose at least 25 more. Will restart weight lifting soon filling a program called starting strength. Will get a dog soon in order to justify some of the walking. Related to this, when I feel down, I go for a walk in a place where I will see people. I may not see someone I know, but at leas…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:28 PM
2

Today will be my first night alone. Heading into the winter with a plan to adopt a rescue dog walk him a lot, and weight lift 3 mornings a week. Intentionally taking 3 months off. Getting a lot of good advice from the book Gatekeeper by Shawn Smith.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 09:36 PM
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