Just a heads up I used AI to make this post to summarize my experience and ask for advice

I’m (33M)at a crossroads and could really use some outside perspective. I’m currently in a relationship with my girlfriend(39F), but things have been rocky. We’ve been fighting a lot lately, and honestly, I don’t feel like I’m ready for something this serious right now and she definitely wants something serious we have been together about 3 months and met 1 month after dday . She’s been supportive in some ways, but the tension is constant and it feels like I’m staying partly because I’m afraid of being alone. At the same time, my ex(30F together 9 years married 8), the mother of my child, and I have been having a lot of confusing interactions. Some days we’re laughing, texting good mornings, even sharing intimate moments, and other days we’re fighting or she pulls away. It’s a rollercoaster, and I can’t tell if there’s a chance of reconciliation one day or if I need to let that fantasy go.

The truth is, I still love my ex deeply, but I know right now it wouldn’t be healthy for us to get back together. That said, I don’t feel like I’m being fair to my current girlfriend either. I know I need to work on myself, therapy, routines, being a stronger single dad, getting comfortable with being alone, but it’s hard to actually take those steps when I feel pulled in different directions emotionally.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How do I break free from this cycle of clinging to relationships, past and present, out of fear, and actually focus on building myself up? Any advice from people who’ve been through a messy breakup or divorce and came out stronger would really help.