Please help

Bloody_hell_Donny · 2018-08-14T09:49:21+00:00

First fight? Let her calm down and come back. Last thing you want to do is chase her.

Bloody_hell_Donny · 2018-08-14T11:11:54+00:00

Here’s a great tip a mentor told me.

When you’re out in woods with your dog and it strays too far ahead what do you do?

If you chase it it will keep running ahead, but if you turn around and walk the other way it will follow.

Let her go. You both need to understand that she is not essential to your happiness. Anyone you can’t live without is a dangerous person to have in your life.

Not saying it will fix your situation, but it certainly won’t make it any worse.

Bloody_hell_Donny · 2018-08-14T13:30:30+00:00

Dude. Getting over her is step 10, let focus on step one.

You said this was your first big fight and her mom is not well. I would guess she’s running on pure emotion and acting carelessly. Unless she’s always used leaving you as a way to control he relationship I would just give her space until she’s ready to talk again.

Now if she has used this tactic in the past you need to nip that in the butt ASAP. She may very well be testing your boundaries. You cannot allow her to think acting by like child is acceptable. Time to realize you are the logical on here and take back control of the situation.

My advice sir, if you let her do this now and show her that you’ll crumble every time she threatens to leave you’ll be dealing with this for the rest of your marriage. Establish that you wont accept this behavior by not showing that it effects you. I’m sure it does, I’ve been there, but you can’t show her. Find a friend, get a shrink, whatever you need to do.

So be strong, don’t chase. Be there for her when she’s ready to come back. Just don’t let HER emotions dictate your life. And if she’s doesn’t come back consider yourself lucky it happened now while you are young and have no kids.

Good luck man.

Bloody_hell_Donny · 2018-08-14T16:13:26+00:00

Don’t ever call her when you are at your lowest. All that does is show weakness. You want to project stability and strength, that’s why she married you right?

I’m sure the Army did its best to work that out of you, rely on your training and your brothers. You my friend could not be in a better place to be dealing with this. There’s a whole branch of the armed forces to support you. Don’t be afraid to show weakness to your bothers or CO, that’s what they are there for. Never leave a man behind right?

To her you project a stable, strong, independent man who will protect her no matter what. Give her a few days (5-7) if she does not call you then reach out. Ask how her mom is doing and how she’s holding up (regarding Mom being sick). Don’t ask about the divorce. Offer to help if you can but don’t try to “fix” her.

Title	Please help
Author	MCBunsenBurner
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	August 14, 2018 9:39 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/976yxp/please_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/please-help.1185767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1185767

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