Alright. I don't know where else to put this and I just have no one else to talk to about it.

My wife and I got married 12 years ago, while we were both in grad school together, dated three years before that, had three kids starting one year after marriage, each kid 18 months apart. We both graduated eventually and got jobs in our field, I struggled a bit more than she did, took a little longer. For the last three years I have been working in my field making 200K and recently up to 250 this year. She has been working for longer and now makes 450K. Ten years ago we got our first mortgage which was a condo, about five years after that, we sold it and moved across country and bought a townhouse, my credit was poor during that time so I actually was not on the deed but paid half the mortgage and all the utilities, she paid for car insurance, health insurance through employer. Then, finally in June 2024 we sold the townhouse and bought our first home, my name is on the deed for this one, credit back up, yay. We separated in September, and now we are working on property division and things like that.

She is still in the house with the kids, I have since rented an apartment and am still getting it ready. The custody will be standard, every other weekend for me and once weekly for dinner or something. Also she has a weird work schedule so there will be times when she works evenings and I will be able to make dinner for the kids in her (our) home, and put them to bed, then go back to my apartment.

The mortgage and utilities and all her expenses are going to be very rough on her financially. I have been giving her 1500 per month since December when I moved out. In the PSA my lawyer had initially included that all assets including the house, bank accounts, retirement planning accounts (I have only been working three years, my employer contributes to 401K but I haven't really done anything otherwise, I know, I should. I will). She has done a little more than me but I am not sure how much, also she has been in the workforce longer.

Also I should say that for the last few years she has spent most of her money on (somewhat expensive) furniture for the house. During the move we split most of the renovation type things, paint, carpeting. I bought new toilets, had them installed, fans, shower doors, an overhead living room light, kind of chandelier (sort of expensive). But I did contribute basically all I could, and I have during the marriage. However the amount that I contribute is less than her because I make less. But I have always paid half the mortgage (wherever we were) 50/50.

In an effort to maintain the stability of the home for my kids, so that they don't notice anything different, don't have to move, etc. I have asked my lawyer to remove all of the things saying I get half. Meaning, she gets the house, doesn't have to pay me anything. He thinks I am crazy, but I tried to explain to him that my priority is that my kids get to see me and her and be happy. If I say "you have to pay me half of what we have built as a family for the last 15 years" she will resent me and be hateful for the next ten years or so while the kids are going through high school and living at home and it is going to be a bad time for everyone. I don't want to start over but I feel like this is the best option. I don't know. I just wanted to know what advice anyone has. Thanks