Fed up with my wife and seriously considering divorce. Where do I go from here? Counseling, therapy, mediation? Do I just google for these services?

About me: I am 37, I work 70+ hours a week, and I am away from home multiple nights a week. I am also a national Guardsmen and I deploy often, maybe every 2-3 years for 6 months. I love my job and I love money as well as working overtime. My wife has serious issues with trust, even though I have never cheated on her. I have zero social life because I am not permitted to go out with friends independently from my wife. Well once every 5-6 weeks we have a big fight over it and I basically put my foot down and tell her I’m going out with my boys and that’s final. I spend every single day off with her and my kids. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I honestly fear that their mother will fuck them up mentally. Her mother fucked her up mentally, and her dad didn’t help the situation either. I have been fighting with my wife on and off for our entire relationship. We have been together for 12 years, married for 9, and I honestly never loved her, I got married because I was young and all my peers were doing it. To make matters worse, I make 100% of the money in our relationship, she is a stay at home mom. She has no ambition to work, and she spends way more of our money than I am comfortable with. I am constantly taking more shifts slowing down retirement savings at times of overspending. Without me she would be in absolute financial ruin just like both of her parents were and still are.