I'm at the beginning of divorce #2. I never wanted to go through this again (1st one cheated before and after the wedding, easy decision at 1.5 months), but here we are.

At the beginning, things were awesome; lots of new experiences, being ourselves, feeling at ease... that's changed. Heightened insecurities on her end clashed with my comfort around female friends, etc. (The only part I can credit to her is talking to one about our troubles, it later turned out she wanted to get with me. I've since cut off contact.) This is among other things; mostly finding out just how opposite we really are.

I've since isolated myself from everyone and find little enjoyment in things, as I've taken all these drastic measures to stop upsetting her (even activities with family that I can prove have made her scrutinize me). Somehow, I still manage to. We're up to about 3 arguments a week, and I've been wanting to throw in the towel for a while now. We started counseling, but we've argued even more since. Yesterday, I made that official (not the first time I've mentioned it, but the first time I've held my ground on it.)

She said she will live in our den for the next 5 months rent free til she can afford a place (she lost her last place due to poor financial decisions and getting in over her head; a trend). Part of me gets this, part of me thinks contributing nothing for utilities she uses excessively is ridiculous. But, she's not as financially stable, so I agreed to it.

Last night, I went to watch a show that we usually watch together on my own; she came into the room upset about it. We haven't had a chance to talk about handling things going forward, but that one seemed pretty obvious to me. (History: I've lived alone quite a bit, she really hasn't been solo long, ever.)

In my last divorce, anger made things easy to deal with, and she got out rather quickly. This will be a longer, drawn out, and probably painful experience. I'm already questioning it for the millionth time, but we're both unhappy, that's clear enough.

How have you handled a live-in divorcee? Any advice, things to do, to avoid, etc? I already intend to try to rebuild some friendships I've neglected, go back to the gym, and put in more OT.

Edit: we've been together 3 years, married a little over a year, no kids