Sorry for the long post. Been married almost 8 years. I was a shitty husband and was caught on several occasions chatting with escorts over the years. However I have been in counseling and gone to SA meetings for almost a year and have been sober from sexual acting out for the same amount of time. My wife kicked me out in November of 2022 and I was gone for almost 5 months before we reconciled and I moved back in. Fast forward to November 2023 she found out I had lied about something I did while we were separated and was upset, I understood that and tried to take steps to make things right again. On the 28th of November we got into an argument unrelated to sexual misconduct. She threw a lawn chair in my direction, then rushed me to attempt to take my keys from my pocket. I held on to my keys on the outside of my pants to stop her at which point she punched me in the face. I grabbed my face, she took my keys, stole my house key and then threw them back at me. I left after gaining reentry to the house because my children (11f, 6f) were inside and I didn’t want to continue this shit in front of them. They were already scared/upset at what had taken place(oldest is my step daughter, and was saying things backing her mom up). I stayed at a hotel for a few days and then ended up getting an apartment because I was essentially homeless. Since then, she has taken 25k out of our HELOC account and has not put any of her paychecks into our joint account(she only makes like $120 a week). Everything continues to be paid out of our joint account. I feel like I’m getting so fucked here but not sure what to do. I haven’t been able to speak with an attorney yet due to holidays and them being scheduled out so far. But she gets to live in our fully furnished house, while I have an apartment with just a mattress on the floor(no other furniture) and 1 pot I make ramen in. She gets to take 25k out the HELOC account that I have to pay back with interest and no longer puts her paychecks in our account(even though they aren’t much it’s still $500 a month). I am still paying all her bills, for groceries and whatever else she decides they need at the house. She even went and got her nails done today with money from our joint account. I am literally busting my ass and living like a broke college student. I just feel like a slave. I don’t know what to do. She even had the nerve to claim in a post on Facebook that I had left her with no money to buy groceries one week when the account got a little low. I transferred money over later that day, which she could have done! Also, since the 28th she gave away all the cash we had in the house, yes gave it away.. $1500. Nothing has been officially filed in court, although after the last stint of being out the house she spoke with a divorce lawyer. Not sure if she has spoken to them since the 28th of this year.

Sorry again for the wall of text. I know it’s half rambling half ranting. I’m just so lost/hurt/confused/angry.