I know we’re all dealing with these things going through this process, but I needed to get this off my chest.

I still love her, but I hate the decisions she’s made that put us in this situation. I know I played my part, hurt her at times, and she says I’m not emotionally intelligent enough and I haven’t made quick enough progress through therapy.

I want so badly not to have to go through with this. I want to keep our family together so our daughter can always have her two loving parents around her every day, and we can all continue to make memories together.

But the betrayal I feel, her emotional affair that I told her she needed to end. And she chose him. She kicked me out of the house for 2 weeks, and ever since I got back, I’ve been exiled to sleep on an air mattress in the office. She just unilaterally decided that our bedroom, our bed, wasn’t ours anymore, it’s now “hers”.

She lets our 11-year old daughter sleep in bed with her, and keeps the door closed. I used to be able to poke my head in the door before I left in the morning and blow her a kiss.

I’m so angry at the things she’s done, and how she’s tried to justify them. And that she claims it’s in our daughter’s best interest for me to only get one overnight a week.

She’s taken my wife away from me, she’s taken my bedroom away from me, and she’s trying to take my daughter away from me.

Everyone tells me I’m going to be better off after divorce. It’s extremely difficult for me to move on from her. I know I can’t beat myself up about it, because grieving the loss of the marriage is a long process. It’s made harder by being in the same house, and we can’t afford for one of us to move out.

I hate this part of my life.