I dont know where to start but most of us (men) dont really know how to love.

We think that if we get more money or more status we would get all the things we want and many of us actually live to these standars only to end up miserable.

Im going right know trough a break up/divorce after 8 long years were i was only thinking work, training, be with wife (just being because most of the time i was thinking in something else i xould be doing or getting better) didnt knew what really being in love felt, i only thought that love was more like a decision and ive never felt more wrong in my life.

My stbxw as of yesterday dropped me the bomb as many of us here and told me she doesnt loved me anymore, she didnt felt anything left for me and she wanted to end things. For me it wasnt a surprise she had the patience telling me things were wrong for more than a year so i may have been lucky than other men here but i as a stubborn person didnt listen and thought that it would pass i saw it more as childish behavior or hormones etc because for me there were other more important things (ego thinking) and thought i was right.

So she stood by my side for 8 years waited for me to change and i didnt because never saw anything wrong with me in that time and at first when she told me that she wanted things to end a part of me wanted to hate her, the situation, started thinking all that time to waste because thats what logic tells us to think right?

Suddenly scrolling through her old pictures were she was still a loving and caring person to me i realized that she only wanted to be LOVED. And thats were i failed i didnt knew how to really let her know that i loved her, it wasnt money it wasnt being with her all the time, she just needed me to be there caring for her and that was so difficult for me to understand and now i see why it is so difficult to go through a break up, bcuz we need to learn quickly and if we dont the pain will be loooong until we start forgetting and then eventually repeat the same behavior with another person