Useful solution

Xan-Diesel · 2023-10-05T18:27:11+00:00

You broke up? Don't we generally use that terminology for dealing with the loss of a romantic relationship with a girlfriend or even woman you're engaged to marry? I mean ... technically I guess you broke up but the term "divorce" is singularly unique and quickly describes a multitude of emotions and situations most of us on this subreddit typically associate with losing our wife and closest friend/lover/partner/companion, family and kids as well as our belongings and identities.

I don't mean to be pedantic and I'm sorry for your loss but everybody grieves differently. If you browse the posts here you'll see many of us behave similarly to somebody grieving a death. It isn't just cathartic to approach it that way - often the person we knew and loved is actually gone, replaced by a different individual who doesn't possess the traits or attributes we once knew.

I'd advise looking at it that way. You might see them or have to talk to them (if you share children) which isn't something that happens with an actual death, but they're gone. Processing it as such is helpful and allowing yourself to mourn is necessary.

playerknowmore · 2023-10-05T21:02:05+00:00

Watch some red-pill content on YouTube.

Ok_Transition_4914 · 2023-10-06T14:54:59+00:00

The best I can say is to stop grieving over the good times. When that happens force yourself to look at the bad times. When you remember what you did wrong force yourself to remember something wrong that she's done. Remember how she hurt you. Remember how you felt during the darkest times with her. Force yourself to get objective perspective.

Remember who she became during the divorce process.

Get over the idea that you could have fixed things by doing better. Marriage is a partnership. In most cases there is no "one partner having to do better." It's both partners making each other better and she likely wasn't holding up her end of the bargain.

Don't regret the lost time. I spent over 3 decades there. Now I'm here. There's nothing I can do to change that. I'm here now so I'm looking forward.

Do what you did during the time while you were married. When you get knocked down get the fuck up again and keep going, and really internalize that this time you're doing it for yourself.

Title	Useful solution
Author	Teachertailor77
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	October 5, 2023 6:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/170ovor/useful_solution/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/useful-solution.1234277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234277

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