I'm 37, she's 33. We have a 7 year old son, and she has a 13 year old son. We are 50/50 on both kids during the school year, then in the summer her son goes to his dad. I make $80k year, she makes $60k.

Right now she is making things difficult. We are just trying to get our finances separated. I was on her employer's health care, and just found out that my coverage expires in 4 days. She refuses to tell me if she is changing jobs or just took me off the plan. I need to know this information in order to file an exception with my employer's provider. She also expects me to pay 100% of our son's coverage, and the other son's coverage is also covered 100% by his dad. Does that make sense?

We are getting divorced because she cheated on me about 4 years ago. I tried to get over it but couldn't. She has also been physically violent with me over the years. She also has a shopping addiction. We have been to therapy twice without any improvement.

She moved out into her own place. Withing ~40 days of moving out, my sons started telling me that there is a new guy over all the time. I tried to ask her what was going on (she always told me that she needed to be informed ahead of time if I was going to introduce the boys to someone new) and tell her that next time I would appreciate the same heads up that she expects, and she said there won't be a next time, and that things are serious with this guy.

I'm thinking about doing a flat rate divorce lawyer, but I'm also nervous about getting started, because I'm just afraid of getting screwed over.

I appreciate any advice.

Thanks.