Hello! I’m 17F and my mom has finally agreed to divorce my dad! I’m so excited but I’m also scared. Here’s some context. They never loved each other, bad domestic fighting when I was younger, now they coexist in peace. Except my dad def got some narcissistic thing going on and he’s scapegoated me (eldest daughter out of 2) and has ignored me for 2 years and is definitely emotionally abusive me. Mom isn’t clean either, I called CPS on her once (unsubstantiated, charges dropped) but the thing w her is that she actually loves me and is definitely the better parent. She just needs some therapy. Dad is the issue. Mom used to say no way to divorce for money. She finally agreed after recently my dad randomly shouted at me for no reason (keep in mind it’s extremely scary when he yells at me because remember, he doesn’t talk to me at all. We’re estranged except we live together. It sucks and it hurts and I hate his guts.) Also, we’re upper middle class. Dad makes over twice what mom makes but mom still makes pretty good so money isn’t a huge issue but obviously we are keeping the divorce away from him so he doesn’t take all the finances and run or something.

Where do we start? We haven’t told anyone except each other about the divorce. Do we go to an attorney secretly first? And how do we find a good attorney? I’m so scared for the custody battle, mine won’t be an issue since I’ll be 18 in a yeah and dad definitely won’t fight for me either way. But my sister is still little. They will fight and it will be ugly since they’ve both had issues. I just don’t know where to start and my mom knows probably less about divorce than I do.