Why is this happening

Crosspost "Why is this happening" from /r/Divorce:

About two years ago I stopped drinking, not because I had legal issues or was violent to people or wife. I stopped so I could be a better father. All the time I had with my stbxw had been drinking. Met in college and hooked up at a party and drank socially all the time with her. I remember always waking up feeling guilty that I drank so I would do whatever my wife told me to do because I wanted to make her happy. So I stopped drinking, my physical health has been the best it has ever been. I feel so much clarity and strong will. The papers were served last year and I expected so but not in the matter they were served. We had separated and I had my own place while still paying my stbxw living expenses mortage etc . I didn’t have any issues with that. I get a knock on my door and I’m served papers, a TRO and I am confused. I had just seen my wife prior and this had to have been a mistake I thought. How could I have a restraining order on my daughter . Apparently I am a alcoholic (was sober for a full year then) and a drug addict because why not add that to the mix. I was a danger to my daughter . I still gave my wife the benefit of the doubt she was my best friend and we both knew we had to be good for our daughter and the sake of her interests. I was wrong. I was married 3 years and I was to pay my wife 6 months of spousal support (2850$ a month) plus 1840$ in child support (which I don’t mind). So I did that for the 6 months and I thought everything was fine and I trusted the process. I am a father and I buy things for my daughter cloths etc and send them to the house. I racked up about 15 violations for spending money on things other than living expenses and attorney fees (literally violations for buying my daughter gifts). Now her lawyer is suggesting to the court I be held in contempt for 180 days because of the violations. I asked my lawyer if my stbxw agreed to this and he said yes she knows. How do I even remind clear headed? This is all because of my business and she is after my financial stuff . When is it too far? Today is the most unstable my mind has been . I have to family support at all I live 9 hours away from my parents and I feel like I have no other choices . I don’t want to go to jail I’m just trying to be a good father and I’m so lost. She keeps telling me I abondon my family but I got an apartment 5 min away from my house and since the papers were served I take drug tests every week(clean) and I am only allowed to see my daughter 8 hours a month supervision only at 100$ an hour a pop. Plus 100$ for each drug test. I’m so lost . I feel worthless