Wife forcing vasectomy

TheWallGoingUp · 2026-06-23T14:28:07+00:00

Your friend should not deal with this imbecile at all. But he's prolly as dumb and evil as she is, otherwise they wouldn't have been married. Is he considering mutilating himself, just for a chance to rub his willie for 2 minutes?

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-06-20T15:06:40+00:00

Ooof….we had a good marriage at vasectomy time because it was right after Covid nonsense. I thought it would be appreciated but wasn’t. I love my kids, but if I was fortunate to meet a younger woman I would consider another under wayyyyy more compatibility tests though!

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-06-20T13:49:02+00:00

If he, as a man no longer wants children, it’s the right thing to do. I did it 5 years ago after our third kid was a ‘oops’. We were 40 so increased risk for her. However, now that I’m 46 and signing paperwork for separation because of her, I am feeling sad. What if I met a younger woman? This shit is awful

paganpadre · 2026-06-19T02:27:52+00:00

Remember… my body, my right. Tell her to gfhs

ThrowawaySunnyLane · 2026-06-17T14:17:51+00:00

Body autonomy is a thing. If he don’t want it, he don’t have it. Simple. Same thing would be said for an abortion or tubes tied.

RPGFrazer · 2026-06-17T07:33:44+00:00

It depends if he wants more children. I definitely don't and have no regrets but I have 5. My soon to be ex got pregnant or I wouldn't have known about the cheating. I guess she will be trying to have a second family with this guy now. I'm happy with my children and definitely would not want more.

Docautrisim2 · 2026-06-17T02:18:11+00:00

I got divorced and a vasectomy shortly after(had a couple near misses). Turned out to be very freeing. Also, it eliminates the question “is it mine?” Two women came to me post vasectomy claiming it was mine. One I was dating so that was fun. A few years later I got remarried and reversed.

Star-Kanon · 2026-06-17T02:00:41+00:00

I really can't understand how some men can accept to lose their evolutionary advantage.

Being able to procreate almost until death is precisely our strongest asset, whatever people or society says.

Don't do this, seriously.

No sex or relationship in the world worth losing this.

Ok_Perception_1836 · 2026-06-17T00:24:32+00:00

My wife convinced me we didn't want more kids, and vasectomy was the obvious choice for us.

The she divorced me a month later to go be with her affair partner. Turned out, she just didn't want more kids with me.

cschoonmaker · 2026-06-16T21:51:16+00:00

His only response should be "My body, my choice".

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-06-16T19:19:02+00:00

Guessing your friend is 35+. Suggest trt. This will get his test back to optimal levels as well as make him infertile unless he happens to be an outlier. No operation required.

scotty-utb · 2026-06-16T19:11:42+00:00

I got the same request from my ex back then. I declined.

But, would i have known "thermal male birth control" (andro-switch) which i use since three years now, i probably would have done this instead back than. Maybe not, time and situation was different...
(Definitely i would tell my younger me to have a look to... and anyway end things way earlier)

So, it's his decision. But if the alternative is Condoms, he needs to wear them.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-06-16T16:16:51+00:00

Asking a guy to get a short outpatient procedure to prevent pregnancy doesn’t seem like a crazy request, IMO.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2026-06-16T15:53:15+00:00

He needs to just say " my body, my choice" over and over and over

AdmiralMcNugget · 2026-06-16T15:41:56+00:00

Idk, my personal experience with my vasectomy has been nothing but positive. Got divorced a couple of years later, slept with a lot of people while on the dating market (many women consider it a big plus), and ended up with someone who doesn't want kids.

DarthDad25 · 2026-06-16T15:15:52+00:00

I completely regret mine. My wife also insisted I get it done. We had two small children and she didn’t want anymore. I did it because I figured I would never have the need to procreate again. Also, figured after two pregnancies, it was my turn to sacrifice the body.. I guess? But I was only 29 years old.

Fast forward three years later.. she cheated on me. Left me for the new man. Divorce is finalized in 6 weeks. Now she is happily with her new boyfriend and they can start a new family (he has no kids). Now I’m single, with two kids, and unable to start a family with a new woman. I will not get it reversed either.

GalaxyFro3025 · 2026-06-16T14:50:24+00:00

Does he want more kids? If no then what is the alternative? He should not do anything he is not comfortable with. But a blanket refusal doesn’t solve the underlying issue, how is the couple going to prevent pregnancy?

Hormonal birth control puts a lot of health risk on the woman to manage, as well as practical/ logistical responsibility to monitor, make appointments, refill, etc. so it makes sense that his wife is looking for another way forward.

But demands and forcing will not work at all. They need to discuss their concerns like adults. Be practical about the cost, effects, maintenance of birth control. Maybe they switch to condoms for a while? No hormones and no procedures.

PghSubie · 2026-06-16T14:50:09+00:00

Sounds like an unhealthy relationship. Which seems like it's not new information.

RCougar · 2026-06-16T13:48:57+00:00

It’s an unneeded surgery that involves a lot of pain and recovery. It also doesn’t always work. Plus she’s a few years from now longer being able to get pregnant probably. Seems like she might be jealous that she entering her infertile years and he doesn’t have any. I would refuse and tell her if it bothers her that much then how about getting her tubes tied.

_splug · 2026-06-16T13:31:01+00:00

They’ll get divorced anyway, and he’ll get more use of it afterwards. Win. Win.

xjeeperx · 2026-06-16T13:20:20+00:00

If he doesn’t want one, he doesn’t have to get one. However, if he doesn’t want more kids, there’s no reason not to.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2026-06-16T13:09:21+00:00

Your friend shouldn’t make any major life decisions like that while the marriage is so unsure.

My ex-wife pressured me to get one, then mostly stopped having sex with me. I don’t regret it because I don’t want any more kids but your friend should preserve his options if divorce is on the table.

falcon0221 · 2026-06-16T13:08:42+00:00

My ex in laws tried to get everyone their daughters dated to do a vasectomy. I hate them all now but fuck that shit, they asked me in my 20’s. Like hello how does that benefit me? I wanted a family.

Tvelt17 · 2026-06-16T12:27:02+00:00

Does he want more kids? That's the real question. Clearly his wife doesn't.

A vasectomy is an easier surgery than the female eqivalent (although even that's not bad anymore). I dunno, man, I think he's seeing this from the wrong angle. A vasectomy is like a superpower.

anotheramerican1 · 2026-06-16T11:52:26+00:00

Exact same thing happened to me and I deeply regret it.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-06-16T11:50:23+00:00

"No" is a complete sentence.

l3landgaunt · 2026-06-16T11:46:34+00:00

His body his choice

kingrobin · 2026-06-16T11:43:58+00:00

I mean that's not what forcing means but okay.

Sweaty_Challenge_649 · 2026-06-16T11:39:56+00:00

Why won’t he get one? I mean it takes away the chances of pregnancy and actually can open up the sex life more. I had one against my wife’s will cause I was done with kids at 40. Best thing I ever did. Couple days of watching movies with an ice pack and then you are good to go. Does he need to not do it for pride or something? Scared?

EmbarrassedAge7612 · 2026-06-16T11:30:00+00:00

He needs to ask how that fixes any of their problems. Make her explain why him getting this done improves things. Odds are it’s her way of ensuring he doesn’t have any kids after they divorce.

CrazySmooth · 2026-06-16T11:02:36+00:00

My body

My choice?

639248 · 2026-06-16T10:41:15+00:00

I happily got a vasectomy after my ex and I had kids. Obviously we ended up getting divorced, but I never wanted to have more. My second wife and I have been together for 15 years now. She had two kids from her first marriage that I ended up adopting. I have known them since they were four and two respectively, and they have zero relationship with their birth father (hence why I was able to adopt them), so I ended up getting two more amazing daughters anyway. But honestly, I have never regretted having the vasectomy. My wife initially was a bit sad about it because she wanted and “ours” to go with “yours” and “mine”. But now she says the thought of dealing with another kid who would be about 13 or 14 years old now just terrifies her. So she ultimately came around to it.

FirelineJake · 2026-06-16T10:40:45+00:00

If the marriage is already on the rocks, this feels less about family planning and more about control. Your friend should probably talk to a therapist or counselor, alone first, before making any permanent medical decisions under that kind of pressure.

Chillout2010 · 2026-06-16T10:28:21+00:00

My wife really pushed for it when we had our daughter 13yrs ago. One boy one girl. But now at 42 she's divorcing me and can just go out and have a baby if someone convinces her. Not in my case. I'd have to pay a good amount of money to try to do the extraction.

TsWonderBoobs · 2026-06-16T10:20:06+00:00

As a woman, I view this as a personal and political issue. Decisions about reproductive autonomy should rest solely with the individual whose body is affected. By that same standard, his bodily autonomy should be respected as well. If concerns about future children are the primary issue, his wife has her own range of reproductive options available to her, including birth control or sterilization, should she choose them.

FuraidoChickem · 2026-06-16T10:18:18+00:00

My body my choice.

metzgie1 · 2026-06-16T10:16:00+00:00

Got one after the third kid, then the divorce. Met a woman, whom I married a few years later. The only thing she wishes in our new relationship is if we would have had a kid together. We have kids between us, just not one of our own. It would be a lot if we had a kid together, but I would have done it for her. The ex took that decision away when she pled for my snippage.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-06-16T10:08:20+00:00

I live in a culture where no one is getting a vasectomy. Read a few stories here where the husband was pushed into one (hoping the dwindling sex life will improve) and got the papers served or getting cheates on while he was still recovering from the surgery.

I see it as a control mechanism, ensuring you won't have kids once she dumps you - your resources won't be going to another woman or your new child.

Capital-Ingenuity-14 · 2026-06-16T09:58:09+00:00

If he loves his wife it should be a good compromise or she may want to use condoms. They need to meet in the middle.

apatrol · 2026-06-16T09:52:34+00:00

Does he want more kids if they divorce? If so then no. If he is done either way then yes.

Birth control is hard for many women. Could even improve her mood to be off. (Assumimg she is). Its def a valid request.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-06-16T09:49:25+00:00

My ex wanted me to get one and I never did. I was mid 30s and didn't wanna fuck up my plumbing. I heard too many horror stories.

My ex ended up getting her tubes tied. We divorced 8 years later and I got a vasectomy because I was absolutely not having anymore kids as a kid 40s single dad.

edictive · 2026-06-16T09:49:05+00:00

"His body; his choice"

Huge-Boat-8780 · 2026-06-16T09:45:48+00:00

I’d suggest she get a tummy tuck and boob lift. Fair is fair

Evanisnotmyname · 2026-06-16T09:44:04+00:00

Your friend should ask how controlling she is and get out.

They’re his balls. She doesn’t own them

Title	Wife forcing vasectomy
Author	curiouszm
Upvotes	14
Comments	107
Date	June 16, 2026 9:41 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1u78un4/wife_forcing_vasectomy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-forcing-vasectomy.1582942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582942

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