I will try to keep it short but as someone with autism I can say how it went for me and how I saw other people with disabilities fall into online rabbit holes:
Firstly, I found that society already sets you up for this. I don't think I have to say how shitty people with disabilities feel from a young age. Estranged and self-shaming are probably the most fitting words. Even if you have a visual disability or are diagnosed, there is a lasting sense of "I am just not trying hard enough" or straight up confusion about how severe a handicap it can really be. You compare yourself to a neurotypical standard and still somewhat strive to achieve normativity. The biggest "proof"/achievement of being good and fitting: Getting laid or in a relationship. This I assume is why incels are so ridiculously focused on this, aka "ascending". Not to get laid but to prove some sort of normativity and being worthy
And here come the masculinity gurus and pillers with their talk aimed at "self-improvement", which most often is just conservative (at best) or alt-right believes with a coat of paint. They remind you that you can just become normal if you try hare enough. And you are probably already shaming yourself for not trying hard enough tp begin with.
And then the power fantasies of "if I just...
work hard
go to the gym every day
become successful
go out and act like I am normal to the point of self-denial
I will eventually win or, even better, get implicit vendetta on whoever I feel wronged me." This might sound insane but it is how a lot of these online cults work. It is a pernanent "I got rejected therefore let me become this ideal being and show them how they were wrong" mindset. There is also some narcissism involved here with you denying your own well being just to be admired or victmize yourself by becoming this imagined superior being.
And these coaches and gurus explicitly target their speech towards this. How many times do you hear them say ableist slurs or berate people who are not the norm? Combined with stuff like "read my x laws of attraction" book, which is very inviting for people who have little to no sense for social rules.
The only small problem? It is locked behind a $597 paywall. Oops. Oh well, this is just an "investment into your future", right?
And the worst part about this is that this realistically can't work. Imagine your average autist or otherwise disabled person being this superior human that is now brilliant in every traditionally patriarchal trait. He will have problems, physical or mental, that will still leave him in the sane position as when he started in terms of finding a partner, maybe even worse because of him now being even deeper in self-denial.
And when it of course doesn't work, the disabled person has to self-shame even more because he was sold broken shovels for a goldrush river without gold in it. Aka buy more books and courses.
And then you have things like incels where they recognize something is wrong but then do the math on superficial things like looks, when in reality they are running from something else.
I had a phase of this long ago and looking back I just find it riduculous and sad but there needs to be a deeper understanding that the driving force behind this market in large part is pureblood sociopaths going in full well knowing that they are scamming disabled people in a market with little regulation. Sometimes when times are a bit boring I still thinl about and dissect this in my head, so I hope I could share some insights.
