Need some help

Spare-Bonus6456 · 2021-08-04T16:30:44+00:00

I'd recommend speaking with a therapist. There's a lot of wires in your brain that are miisconnected and you have to work through that.

softnmushy · 2021-08-04T20:13:48+00:00

I'm sorry you've had to go through all this. I'm glad you figured out how bad those groups are.

Here is my advice for you:

Make sure you have a job before you try to date. Having a job will give you confidence and will make you seem more stable and safe to women.
Try to make friends with women. But not for dating or anything sexual. Just for being friends and enjoying talking. These women can be the girlfriends of your male friends. Or they can be women at work, or older women.
Once you have practice speaking with women who are your friends, it will be much easier to talk to women you are interested in. Also, once you have women friends, if you tell them you are having a hard time dating they may try to help you find someone. And they will help you to know what women are realistic for you to date. (If you are ugly, it makes sense for you to try to date women who are also a little bit ugly.)

Inareskai · 2021-08-04T19:26:17+00:00

I second the suggestion of speaking to a trained professional, there's clearly a lot of anxiety and fear thoughts going on. Combined with a general dislike of yourself. The best way to unpack and learn to manage these feelings is to speak to a trained therapist.

But to address the two main points:

All these 'thousands' of options are rarely, if ever, 'options'. They are, at best, a passing comment that makes you feel a bit grimey just for reading it. It's saying that someone surrounded by post cards has loads of things to read - technically, sure, but most people want and are looking for a novel. If you can be someone's novel, you don't have to worry about the postcards.
Looks aren't the only thing that matters, if they were then the entire dating world would look significantly different. Take it to it's logical conclusion - if looks were literally the only thing that mattered in dating then 1. there would be no attractive single people (this is not the case) and 2. there would be no partnered non-stereotypically-attractive people (this is not the case).

Speak to someone who can help you manage your anxiety and who can help you challenge your unhelpful thought processes. It can get better.

Title	Need some help
Author	Spare-Bonus6456
Upvotes	12
Comments	7
Date	August 4, 2021 3:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/oxv1vh/need_some_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/need-some-help.816105 https://theredarchive.com/post/816105

Comments