Before I begin this post, Imma just say that I won't be defending the red pill as a whole, but there are parts of it worth learning from. That's what this post is about.

I'm a trans woman who's attracted to women and I read redpill daily. I'd read it for self-improvement purposes when I thought I was a cis man, and now I just read it cause I find it interesting from a psychoanalytical perspective. I usually saw right through the sexism, but there were times when I thought "is this what reality is honestly like? This is what really attracts girls to guys?" I didn't follow it religiously before I realized I was trans, but I still incorporated it into my life and it did help me.

As a guy, I'm pretty sure I'm not entirely a "Chad" by redpill standards. I'm decent-looking though. I get more female Tinder matches than any of my male friends do and I've slept with more girls than most of them have, I'm in amazing shape, and I dress very well. On the flip-side, I rarely get past a first date with a girl and I've never had a girlfriend. I attribute that to girls picking up on my persona as a guy not being genuine and us not vibing, not to me not being "alpha" or "Chad" enough. Girls tend to be attracted to me on a superficial level, but they lose interest when things get a bit deeper. I've read Models by Mark Manson and I agree that confident honesty is important when attracting people on a deep level. Redpill preaches not being vulnerable with girls/women to help attract them. While that may attract a girl on a superficial level, it won't help a deeper connection develop. Redpill's helped me hook up with girls, but it hasn't improved my dating life at all.

One thing that redpill gets right is self-improvement. Problem is, so many redpill guys focus on self-improvement cause "improve self = woman want fuck me", not "improve self = i am better person". Their self-improvement is healthy, but the reason why is toxic. Their "don't put pussy on a pedestal" mantra is so hypocritical cause of that. I'm lucky in terms of self-improvement imo, my own self-improvement journey started when I was a teenager and I didn't know about redpill for most of it. I lifted more days than I didn't, I did things with my life and made myself a more interesting person, and I learned not to be needy when chasing girls. I did those redpill-approved things cause I was driven to improve my poor mental health, not to get pussy like redpill preaches, so I was self-improving for healthy reasons.

Redpill has a real blind spot when it comes to improving interpersonal relationships, especially with women. It teaches men that if they don't manipulate women, women will manipulate them cause "I don't want to fuck you/we're just friends/I don't like you like that" = sex-based manipulation, not simply the woman having agency over herself. If a guy doesn't want to fuck/date a girl, it's accepted that he's just not attracted to her, but if the genders are reversed, then the girl's an evil hypergamous whore by redpill standards. Wanting sex is normal for both genders, and so is not wanting it. It's fine to feel bad about being rejected by women, but it's unhealthy to assume it's cause they're out to get you for not being "alpha" enough, not cause they just weren't feeling it.

The biggest thing redpill helped me with was abundance mentality. Before I found it, I'd get overly invested in specific girls and I'd worry about ruining things with girls who were already attracted to me. The first girl I was ever in the seeing stage with, I fell fast and I didn't get fully over her for about a month after we stopped talking, even though she was only in my life for a couple weeks. When the next few girls I went out with lost interest in me during the first date, I felt hurt cause my mentality was "why wasn't I right for her?" instead of "welp, guess she wasn't the right girl for me, time to move on". The last girl I was seeing, I had the most fun with her out of any girl I've gone out with and I got over her within a day after she ended things. Having an abundance mentality has helped my mental health so much. I don't stress about girls not being into me like I used to because I know that even if one isn't into me, there's so many more who could be. And even if they aren't, I still don't need a girl in my life (besides myself) to be happy or emotionally secure.

Overall, redpill's helped me be less needy in my relationships, but the community is toxic. I think it's worth reading with a critical perspective. If you're male, you can see it as a guide for how not to think about women. If you're into psychology, you can read it as an example of how an unhealthy attitude towards women affects males' thinking. If you're of either gender looking to self-improve, the general principles of it are helpful, like investing in things in your life that don't involve sex/romance/approval of other people, being confident in yourself, and standing up for yourself, but most redpillers apply those principles for toxic purposes and they're not redpill exclusive anyway, most healthy self-improvement guides out there advocate for the same things.