So long as we live in the time and planet we do, women cannot pity men. Pitying men is potentially pitying predators. Men enforced the patriarchy and continue to do so in ways big and small. ALL men who watch porn, 'slut'-shame, and condescend women are perpetuating patriarchy. And that's a lot of men. Most of them, actually. Just because they don't know it, or claim not to know it, does not mean they get a pass. It's not worth a woman's lifelong happiness to try changing a man. We all know stories of great women tethered to terrible men. Did those men change? Most didn't.

Everyone somehow suffers due to patriarchy. We've all met a guy that's avoidantly attached and emotionally stunted due to his stoic, boys-don't-cry upbringing. Again, can he really be changed? If he's young and not already a HVM he might grow into full HVM status thanks to a combination of deliberate effort, time, experience, therapy, &/or maturity－ NOT bc of a single miracle woman. That's up to him to pursue.

Besides, by design, women are by FAR the greatest victims of patriarchy. Patriarchy was gradually established in order to bypass a woman's right to choose. And yes, relatively free Western women are still under patriarchal rule. In the US, men still hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership and moral authority. American women are still quietly told that being "unlike other girls" is the highest compliment. That they must compete with the women around them. Patriarchy occupies insecure women by pitting them against each other. It occupies all women by scaring them into submission in one way or another. Western women are still terrified to speak out against their rapists and attackers.

"Not all men" is an invalid argument. Why? Because all FDS generalizations are made assuming there is a small, almost nonexistent portion of the male population that is exempt. But, as women, it is impossible to know who a man truly is until years down the road. (Besides, how many men do you know that don't watch porn?) FDS generalizations are designed to protect us from and help us identify the vast majority of men.