I became friends with this coworker at my last job part-time job. I literally just graduated college and had no friends in the area so I was open to making some more. But he asked if I wanted to get coffee and since he’s treated me in this overly nice fashion I was like shit this is sketch. I directly told him that i would go as long as it wasn’t a date. He obviously backtracked insisting he never intended it to be (BS, and exactly why I clarified) and I went and we talked and I thought I had a friend. But then another employee started making comments about how we went on a date. Apparently the guy had told people it was a date. I was furious and was cold to him at work from then on.

But this problem isn’t new. I’ve been single for years (and loving it lol). I didn’t want to date in college cause my career requires I move away and former boyfriends tried to convince me to stay in my current city which has no job opportunities.

And unfortunately I’m a genuinely warm person and enjoy making friends (Part of this is definitely that I’m a recovering pickmeisha friendship-wise and have a lot of people pleasing struggles, but I digress). But these dumb ass men literally always take my kindness and singleness as the potential for something more. So they try to weasel their way into being a friend and blur the lines between what’s a date and what’s just friends hanging out. I’d never go off on them in person but like...it’s so disrespectful?! I have set clear and apparent boundaries and they’re walking all over them and I’m sick of it. And the other issue is, though I’m extremely reluctant to admit it and feel awful for even including it here, I do generally get more attention from guys than other girls do. Again I don’t really want to include this but it’s important cause i find if you groom yourself more and love wearing fashion and makeup guys end up approaching you more and lvm will try their bs tactics more often. I’m just sick of it.

The stuff I’ve seen in this reddit and in the handbook honestly give me so much hope cause these guys are the epitome of low value men and you guys may have some insight. Any advice on how to deal with these guys? And if my career depends on networking, how do I avoid this situation again while not giving up all networking opportunities?