So you've found a HVM at long last. Let's discuss the timeline of when a marital commitment should occur to prevent being a forever girlfriend. How long is too long? After how many years of dating should a HVM propose? The answer isn't clear cut. It depends on your age and whether you are older or younger than 25. It also depends on whether you are still pursuing an education. A general guide is as follows:

If you are over 25 and not in school any longer—meaning you have completed your undergraduate degree and are working on building your career—2 years of dating is the maximum. If you do not have a ring and a booked wedding venue, it is time to leave so you can find your actual husband. Women in this demographic: Be extremely wary of hitting that 3 year benchmark with a wavering boyfriend who is not 100% excited to marry you. If it ain't a HELL YES, he is using you until he finds his actual wife (not you).

If you are older than 25 and in school (medical school, law school, or a PhD program—which can end between your late-20s to early-30s), you can wait longer than 2 years because these are strenuous academic programs. However, your intended should have clear plans for marriage after 2 years. Meaning: (1) he has asked, but you have not accepted yet (2) he has purchased a ring of your choosing (3) he has designed extensive plans for future married life together (this can mean different things for each woman depending on what type of marriage you desire).

If you are younger than 25 you need to focus on financial security for your future. You should be in school and have a clear plan for developing a lucrative career, educating yourself on investments and Roth IRAs, reading about index-funds and how to attain financial success, learning about retirement planning. Stop getting distracted by men and thoughts of marriage—put your energy, time, and resources into your education and future career.

As always, this guideline will not fit every culture or lifestyle. Many women on FDS are not interested in marriage or co-habitation in their stage of life. Others, have different struggles in their lives that may lengthen or shorten this timeline (religion, medical issues, family or legal problems, children, comfort level). But hopefully, this guide can serve as a general base.