I've been low key lurking this sub for a while, and I just wanted to share a story of mine. I don't even know if it's something that should be here, but I made the mistake of posting it on another sub and all I got was a bunch of horny guys sending me messages and other people calling me a slut.

First of all, I want to start off by saying that I'm not a child, nor am I inexperienced. At the time I was in my mid 20s, just finished law school, and was doing pretty well for myself. I come from a stable family, and have had a few relationships that ended normally. I started reading subs like this about a year ago after experiencing this odd short term relationship. Essentially, I met a guy through a friend of mine and was immediately infatuated. He was 3 years older than me, good looking, and successful. It all just happened so fast, he didn't play any games, we simply talked, and then I fell for him and we started sleeping together. No relationship, no commitments, I was simply happy to have the physical connection.

Sure I was falling for him, but I was smart enough to know from some of our pillow talk that pursuing a relationship with him would end up with me getting hurt. Everything changed when he invited me to go on a trip with him to Taiwan. We both live in North America, and I had mentioned something innocuous about liking beef noodles and he asked if I wanted to go sometime. I had some time off and he offered to pay for my trip and we could go together and hang out. I insisted on paying for myself (probably out of pride), and I ended up meeting him in Taipei a month later.

It was during this trip that I realized we only had a physical connection. We basically had sex non stop for a week and stumbled out of bed to do a few activities per day. By this time I should mention that he came from a very wealthy family, much wealthier than I had originally thought. I don't know if it was a cultural difference, but over the course of the trip a lot of my flaws (I truly believe that they are flaws) came out in a bad way. One of them was that I am horrible at making small talk and keeping conversations going, I don't know if it's social anxiety, but I can't do small talk so well. I literally talk for a living, and I am fine in a work setting, but something about talking with someone in such an intimate setting was weighing negatively on my mental health and I was very boring. Another problem that I have is my diet. Although I am very thin ( 5'7 110 pounds), I am not adventurous(by his standards) when it comes to food.

At home I just eat basic food, pizza, burgers, white girl sushi (his words), you know the usual stuff. He would ask me what I wanted, and we would show up and it was not at all what I was expecting. He found it funny, but I think I took it badly and acted like a bitch. Perhaps I got in my own head a bit too much, but it honestly felt like I was on a date with someone that was too much further ahead in life than I was and I couldn't handle it. From wine pairings, to food, to entertainment, I just felt that I couldn't compete in any category, I couldn't stop feeling like a child.

At the end of the trip I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore and he just smiled and said "yeah we aren't very compatible are we". I asked him why he thought that, and he said that I had an awful personality. Oddly enough, although he would nag me on the trip, we never got into an argument. I've never experienced that with any other man, he just knew what to say, and it was very obvious by the end of the trip that he was used to being around attractive women and was not as nervous around me as I was around him.

After we parted ways I worked on myself for a few months. The personal embarrassment over how it ended was too much for me, so I took a few classes and worked on my self confidence. We still text from time to time, and I do miss and think about it him. I have not dated anyone else since we last hooked up, and I can't help but compare other guys to him. I just wanted to rant, and would like some advice on how to get over this guy. I feel like I peaked to early and lucked out on finding a HVM that I was not able to handle at the time. I am fine with simply sleeping with him and enjoying his companionship, but I know it will destroy me when/if he finds someone else.

I just needed to write this out, I feel like I did a poor job of it though.

Edit - Unfortunately I cannot post replies to the comments here, but thank you for the kind words everyone.