I met this guy back in March, he was just getting out of a 10 year relationship that according to him was toxic and consisted on cheating from both sides. However, when we met we just clicked, our energy matched, we share a lot of things in common; such as we are both extroverted, have dating experience, and are goal-getters.

This was before finding this subreddit so I was a pickmeisha from the get-go

I would bake and bring food for him, but him food, drive to his place,etc But we never really went out on dates, we just hangout at his place and had sex. However, after I found this subreddit I started noticing the red flags:

🚩 his room is messy as fuck 🚩 he never took me out on dates 🚩 there were stances where I was paying for the food FOR THE BOTH OF US

I know I’m an idiot and I was just really into him.

I tried to keep my head up and be understanding that he was just getting out of a relationship and try to give him time.

Two days before his bday I took him out to eat. And I had planned on his bday to show up with a cake and a gift to his house. But he never replied to my messages until it was past midnight.

I think that was the day that I got tired of his shit. I ate his cake with my best friend and destroyed his gift. Lol

However after that I was done with him, and he knew that I was mad and after we had a talk I told him that I wanted him to take me out on dates, to fucking try for once in his life.

And he changed, he started trying, we started going on dates, he started paying for my food and started calling me everyday.

But idk part of me still holds grudges and after finding this subreddit idk what’s the best option to follow. Because he was trashy at the beginning and now he is trying so idk if I should stay with him or leave. I still like him of course but I don’t think is as much as I used to...

To add to the story, when I wasn’t talking to him (after his bday) my gym crush talked to me and we went out together hiking. We got along pretty well. He is very introverted, has only had one gf, he is shy and he is a very sweet guy. I know he likes me and has showed me that from the get-go. One of the things that I don’t like is that he isn’t as goal oriented as me, I feel like he is still trying to figure out his career and he is older than me. Is that bad (?)

So I am very confused and I don’t know what to do. My heart likes them both and idk who is the right guy for me because I’m still trying to figure out things for myself, and the things that I want in a man.