Is post-breakup embarrassment about an ex correlated with how much he spent (or didn't?)

popfriday · 2020-01-28T14:55:53+00:00

Women who leave the first time an ex does a deal breaker do not suffer from post break up embarrassment for long. Women who continuously ignore red flags, give second chances, take cheaters and abusers back are the once who end up truly haunted.

I honestly have no ill will regarding my ex who cheated. He treated me incredibly (yes money wise but also emotionally) and as soon as I found out he cheated I was gone. Yes it fucking hurt. I was devastated and initially embarrassed. But what do I have to be mad for? I kept my standards sky high and when what he did in the dark came to light I was out.

The embarrassment comes when you devolve into a pick me for extended periods of time and still get dumped. Well you live and you learn. Men will likely disappoint you / betray you at some point. Get what you can and leave the rest when it no longer serves your mental health.

ambermagpie · 2020-01-28T15:56:17+00:00

Yeah, I would say that you’re not wrong, although it’s not the money/spending per se so much as what it represents. We all have resources that we pour into relationships - money is like time, in a lot of ways, where we can choose to spend it on people to show we’re romantically invested in them. So when things don’t work out and we look at something in retrospect, we understand an unwillingness to spend on us (money, time) as a clear indication of lack of romantic investment that we ignored.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-01-28T15:23:18+00:00

My ex was rich af, took me on travels and to dinner and bought me anything I wanted and I’m STILL embarrassed that I dated him. Had he not done all that I would’ve been more embarrassed though.

ambermagpie · 2020-01-28T15:56:48+00:00

Yeah, I would say that you’re not wrong, although it’s not the money/spending per se so much as what it represents. We all have resources that we pour into relationships - money is like time, in a lot of ways, where we can choose to spend it on people to show we’re romantically invested in them. So when things don’t work out and we look at something in retrospect, we understand an unwillingness to spend on us (money, time) as a clear indication of lack of romantic investment that we ignored.

GerbilOfRiverdale · 2020-01-28T13:40:15+00:00

[removed]

ambermagpie · 2020-01-28T15:56:25+00:00

Yeah, I would say that you’re not wrong, although it’s not the money/spending per se so much as what it represents. We all have resources that we pour into relationships - money is like time, in a lot of ways, where we can choose to spend it on people to show we’re romantically invested in them. So when things don’t work out and we look at something in retrospect, we understand an unwillingness to spend on us (money, time) as a clear indication of lack of romantic investment that we ignored.

Title	Is post-breakup embarrassment about an ex correlated with how much he spent (or didn't?)
Author	w0manifest
Upvotes	34
Comments	8
Date	January 28, 2020 1:22 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ev5jbd/is_postbreakup_embarrassment_about_an_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-post-breakup-embarrassment-about-an-ex.694328 https://theredarchive.com/post/694328

Comments