I've been on this sub for a couple months now (had been under a different name, wanted something a little more discreet) and you ladies have really changed how I see dating, and how I approach new potential partners.

I was recently planning my first post-FDS first date. Texting was going well, we clicked on a lot of things, but he was dragging his feet about planning the date. I'd bring it up, he'd be non-committal etc. Should have dropped him there, but I'm still learning. Instead I basically told him he either needed to ask me out or continuing to talk was pointless.

Of course he apologized, said he usually moves too quickly and wanted to take it slow, let's do something low-key like coffee. Now I know it's not very FDS, but I actually really enjoy low-key dates like that. So I said ok. We agreed on a time and place for a few days later.

The date was supposed to be yesterday at 1. He texted me at 11:30am - He'd had a weird night, he's someone's emergency contact and he didn't get home till 6am, he just woke up, "I'm not trying to blow you off, and I'm not a catfish lol".

So I said "I'm sorry you had a rough night, I hope everything is ok, but I'm confused - are you cancelling? Rescheduling? Just saying you're gonna be tired when you get there? You haven't said." He asks to reschedule, I say I'm free later that same day, and he said "well I'd thought about that but I might go up North to visit (I assume he meant the friend from the night before but idk), I'm not sure yet"

This is where FDS kind of kicked in for me. Old me would have backed down, pretended I wasn't hurt, told him it was ok, and ended up waiting weeks for another date. Instead I said "Look obviously I don't know the whole situation, but from my perspective cancelling set plans because you 'might' do something else feels a lot like blowing me off".

He never responded. My first instinct was to second guess myself, maybe I overreacted, maybe I was insensitive, I should text again and apologize - no. I reread the texts, and I'd done nothing wrong. I specifically said I don't know the whole situation, this is just my perspective. The door was wide open for clarification. He just didn't care enough.

I definitely cried a bit yesterday, because being ghosted is a sensitive spot for me. But at the end of the day I'm better off. I've never been especially high-maintenance or asked for much. I will not back down from the few things I do actually need. Reliability is something I need.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just so thankful to you ladies for giving me the confidence I needed to stand up for myself and my needs in dating situations.

TL;DR: LVM flaked on our first date, ghosted when I called him on it. Thanks to FDS I'm not even a little bit sorry about it